#it was incredible and I'm going to bed now but I might post more about it in the morning

[achaotichuman]

ACOTAR Discussion

Okay, so recently my mutual @sonics-atelier posted this fic Perfect To Me (which is so fucking amazing, I cried, go read it rn) and in this fic, they write about Tamlin developing an eating disorder (specifically anorexia) since his body changed after starting to get Spring back on its feet. And it started me down a whole rant about fictional characters being the pinnacle of beauty standards, specifically in relation to what they're bodies look like. So, to save my mutuals the long spam texts about my thoughts, I'm gonna post em here.

General trigger warning- Discussion of a variety of eating disorders, body dysmorphia and Cassian.

SJM covers disordered eating within ACOTAR, it happens specifically to the female characters. And this is something, I have a huge problem with. That might seem like a massive asshole sentence, but let me explain my thought process.

These eating disorders are not well respresented, they do not further affect the plot, they only serve to be an outward appearance to the male saviour characters that something is wrong, and they never appear on the female characters in a way that makes them any less pretty, in fact, I would say, the resulting skinniness from said disordered eating, is the desired result. By that I mean, yes I think SJM writes her female characters starving themselves to make them fit the female beauty standard.

This is very evident with Nesta, who somehow miraculously only grows thinner in the waist and hips when she is starving herself. But still has massive breasts which Cassian makes a point of oogling, despite noticing how thin she is everywhere else. Instead of taking Nesta's not wanting to eat anything and turning it into a plot point for her character in which she learns to take care of and eventually love her new Fae body, SJM decides to further starve Nesta, but Cassian limiting her sugar intake, so she reminds the same 000 size in the waist.

Now, onto what really, truly makes me angry within SJM's series. Character's gaining weight, rather than losing it.

This happens once in the series. It is one singular comment, that put me off Cassian forever.

"You need to get out in the practice ring, brother. Don't want your mate to find any soft bits."

This comment was from Cassian to Rhysand in the third chapter of ACOSF, after looking Rhys up and down pretty much.

May seem like a harmless jab to a lot of people, but take into account all of the context around it.

Cassian had just been eyeing Nesta's body-clearly suffering from the effects of long-term starvation, like a hunk of meat.

They had just won a war not long ago-still coming down from the stress highs that would have no doubt been enough to put any normal person in bed for a month.

Rhysand had only recently found out about Feyre's pregnancy, if I remember correctly-would have also found out about the risks, and would be dealing the extreme stress that would be causing.

It would be incredibly normal for Rhysand to gain weight because of all these factors. Not to mention this being the first (and I'm fairly certain) only time, SJM's mentions a male character gaining weight, and it being in such a negative light, could only suggest she, and thus Cassian, find the idea unappealing or perhaps downright abhorrent.

Which really fucking pisses me off.

Most of her female characters have experienced a form of anorexia throughout the books as a trauma or stress response. And it never exists to go further than making them more conventionally attractive.

Now further on her male characters, not a single one of them ever has an ounce of fat on their body. Weight gain is entirely out of the question, even when it should be the obvious occurrence due to whatever change in their situation.

Now this also brings me to another problem I have, which also leeches into fandom behaviour.

We all love Tamlin's tits, ofc, ofc, but muscle behaves like fat if its not being actively flexed. Tamlin's pectoral muscles are no doubt incredibly strong, and would, probably be able to crack a nut (no pun intended) if flexed. But if they werent, they would be soft and squishy. No one talks about THAT THOUGH DO YOU???

Not to mention, that, Tamlin is a beast creature, wandering the forests, not training or exercising properly, and is only gouging on the carcasses of animals he kills. This could be an excellent time to lean into weight gain, and the intense feelings of guilt, and body dysmorphia that it brings.

Lets also discuss Gwyn, a traumatised young woman who fled to the Library in order to live a life of peace. She has never trained a day in her life before becoming a Valkyrie, why is she so skinny?

It's never mentioned Gwyn having any kind of reaction to her trauma that affects her eating (as far as I remember) and I think it would be far more interesting to delve into the effects grief and the lose of a dear loved one has on the body and ones eating habits.

Lets talk about Elain, who is said to use baking a coping mechanism, why is she skinny? This is the perfect opportunity to delve into a character binge eating, then extreme guilt from the times where they were in poverty, and purging. But finding comfort in food because food = wealth, wealth =safety.

And in the end, a character can be fat and be happy. Why do we have so many characters that are so thin at the end of their books?

So many of these characters also have near no stability, their diet would not doubt be changing constantly from the inconsistency in their living situations. Which should to lead to drastic changes in their body. This could be a very interesting way to explore body dysphoria. Hating seeing yourself in the mirror even if you just survived battle, because you can hardly recognise yourself. Changing so much in the mind and not even having the comfort of your body being the same. Especially with Nesta and Elain being Made against their will. I honestly believe Nesta's starvation should have been her hating her new Fae body so much that she just wants to destroy it. Her healing, should have been learning to love herself, no matter what body she is in.

In the end, your body is you, but you are more than your body. Bodies are such incredibly fascinating tool, and people don't always have to like what it looks like to care for it. Bodies can be smaller, bigger, stronger, they take your brain wherever it wants to go. But they are not all of you. And that should have been what especially Nesta's journey could have been.

Anyway, this is incredibly sensitive topic for a lot of people, so I do really want to open this up to everyone. What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you think SJM's portrayal of eating disorders is justified, or do you think I'm wrong on any of these points? Let me know in either the comments or the reblogs, I would be happy to discuss it.

[smallerontheoutside]

so I have a new favourite film

'the fortunes and misfortunes of moll flanders' is, genuinely, a masterpiece

and something which I already knew but has now been confirmed tenfold - Alex Kingston is a master of her craft and omg I could watch her forever

[quantum1mmortality]

Im so glad you're writing for Curly bc I'm so obsessed with him rn!! May I suggest (if you haven't done them already) some soft/fluffy post burn hcs? Like finally seing him again after a long drive to the hospital, mentally preparing yourself for what he might look like. Curly being so afraid about how you'd react, and just breaking down when you let out an "oh, Curly :(" and softly place a hand on his cheek, so worried that you might hurt him by accident that it's hardly even a touch at all. Curly leaning his cheek into your palm, having been so scared to see you and now so desperate for your touch.

Life returning to a new normal after a while, prosthetics and PT, skin grafts, so on. Lying in bed with him and being so relived and happy when he gets a spark of mischief like he used to and tries to tickle or play wrestle with you. Him quietly asking questions when the laughter dies down. if you missed his lips, or the blond hair you loved so much that now hardly grew at all. Reassuring him that it didn't matter what he looked like, or what he could and could not do anymore. He's still your curly.

Sorry this turned out so long 😭 I can't get him out of my head!

I LOVE what you wrote 🙏🙏 I'll be going off of these, taking bits and pieces of your hcs and then putting them in here. Overall just gonna be fluffy post crash Curly hcs :)

Of topic, but the way some people in this fandom treat post crash curly makes me nauseous. Finding out that some of you wouldn't treat him like I would makes me wanna cry. Maybe I'm too empathetic or maybe I'm a baby back bitch, either way, I'd care for this man so much. Y'all don't understand how much I love him.

Tw/cw; none!! One curse word but that's literally it (I think)

Not proofread

Extremely sensitive to touch for the first few weeks. I feel as though curly would be in incredible pain, but would try his best to keep your hands touching his cheeks, face, body in general. He'd even go as far as to whimper at how bad it hurt, yet still enduring it because he needed to know you still loved him.

He'd be so happy to see you anytime you were around. Just like pre crash, but it was more special. It got to the point where you would take off work for weeks at a time just to be with him, just so you could see him happy.

After the first two months of agonizing pain, you'd start touching him more. Not sexual, obviously, but just getting more physically affectionate. You'd be able to hug and kiss him goodbye, and hold on to his arm as you talked with him.

Speaking of talking, he wouldn't be able to, so you would talk for him. Basically telling him something, then answering any questions he may or may not have. You've known him long enough, you know how he'd react and question things, so it was practically a no brainer for you.

Now that he doesn't feel as much pain as he used to from your touches, you'd begin sleeping with him. NOT SEXUAL!!! Just cuddling up next to him in the hospital bed, laying your head on his shoulders and kissing him goodnight. Just like how you used to.

Eventually he'd start getting prosthetics, and aside from the physical therapy he's usually getting, you'd bring board games and playing cards so he could learn to use his new hands while still spending time with you.

Curly used to kick your ass in uno and honestly he still does. The trembling in his hands would slowly go away over time, and you were helping him with that much more than his physical therapist was; because at least he wanted to actually be around you.

After months and months, he'd finally be ready to take home. New prosthetics and a bunch of skin graft surgeries later, he's in good condition again. Not perfect in his eyes, but it is in yours.

He wouldn't be able to work, but Pony Express sends him checks as if he was. He gets enough from them, you could quit your job, but you don't want to be dependent on them. So you keep working.

Getting home from work is your favorite part of the day, having Curly be so happy to see you makes everything so worth it.

Your home life goes back to normal with a few exceptions, but nothing too drastic. Curly being in a wheelchair and still not being able to speak, but it's nothing you can't handle. You love him, you're willing to make sacrifices. He'd do the same for you, and you know that.

Bonus content; if you guys were married before the crash, once he got his prosthetic hands, he'd have you help him make a little beaded necklace for his ring to go on; that way he could still wear it :) he'd never take the necklace off once it's done

A/N; I've been pretty busy recently so sorry for the delay on requests; I have a lot of ideas for them though so hopefully they'll be out soon

[lucy90712]

Hey so for Jude Bellingham can you write like Jude cheating on reader, he is very distant with her and she tries to make plans or asks him things like how has ur day been but he either just gives her blunt replies or just completely ignores her. Reader finds out he cheated on her via his phone and she confronts him and she admits it. Then reader leaves him and moves on with someone else (not a footballer just someone random) and Jude regrets what he has done but it is too late. Like pure angst and please make it long! Thank you!

A/n: the timeline on this doesn’t really work but just ignore that

Part 2

Sitting in a restaurant alone waiting for someone to show up is embarrassing. It's even more embarrassing when people know who your boyfriend is and are very clearly judging you and thinking about what might be going on in your personal life. Then the most embarrassing part of it all is having to leave after sitting there for an hour. 

No text no call and no answer. After getting home from the restaurant I stayed up for as long as possible to try and wait for Jude to come home so I could ask him why he didn't show up to the date he planned and invited me on but by 3am he still wasn't home. The next morning he wasn't in bed but he had clearly been home and then left for training but he still hadn't even read the texts I sent him last night. He did post on his Instagram story which explained where he was, he was at a party with all of his friends. I'd love to say that's the first time he's done this but it isn't in fact he's done it countless times in the last few months. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Valentine's Day

Two hours ago I got ready in a cute dress and did my makeup ready to go out to dinner with Jude. He's been so busy recently so we haven't spent much time together but he promised me we'd spend Valentine's Day together, he got us a reservation at my favourite restaurant and told me to dress up. That's exactly what I did now I'm sat here still waiting for him to get home two hours after when he said he'd be home. 

It hurts to be left just waiting I was looking forward to tonight and getting to spend some time together as I've missed having him around. He made this move to Madrid out to be the best thing for us but ever since things just haven't been the same. He's always busy and when he's not he chooses to spend time with his teammates instead which I understand but at the same time he's neglecting me and our relationship. I tried to bring this up but he shut me down and promised to spend more time with me which is how we ended up with this date but clearly it's not that important to him. 

Close to 3 hours later Jude finally came home and looked at me incredibly confused when he saw me all dressed up. 

"Where are you going?" He asked 

"On a date with you remember you said we would go out for dinner because it's Valentine's Day" I said 

"I'm so sorry baby I completely forgot this week has been crazy I promise I'll make it up to you another day but I'm so tired is a movie night instead ok" he said 

"Yeah its ok" I lied 

Birthday 

As always I woke up to an empty bed and Jude having left for training. Today isn't any normal day though it's my birthday so all my friends are coming over and we are going to go out for lunch together then hopefully Jude and I can do something together this evening even if it's just watching something together on the sofa. When I grabbed my phone from my bedside table I had loads of messages from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday and my social media was filled with edits done by Jude's fans which were all so sweet. The only notable missing thing was a text from Jude but that's ok he might've been running late and forgot. 

I forgot about Jude as soon as my friends arrived as they all spoiled me far too much but I had so much fun with them. It was nice to be distracted from real life and stop worrying about when Jude will be home, if he will remember it's my birthday or if he still cares about me at all. Once I got back home Jude's car was already in the driveway so I smiled and happily made my way inside to see him. I wasn't expecting Vini and Eduardo to be over but there they were sat on the sofa playing video games with Jude. 

"Hey y/n happy birthday" Vini said 

"I didn't realise it was your birthday Jude didn't mention it but happy birthday" Eduardo said 

"Thanks guys" I said 

"Where have you been babe?" Jude asked still not saying happy birthday 

"I was with my friends they took me to lunch" I said 

"That sounds fun" Jude said going right back to his game 

His friends tried to leave saying he should spend time with me but he said it was fine and that I wouldn't mind so they stayed. While they all sat down stairs having more fun than I was I did some work with tears streaming down my face. My own boyfriend doesn't care about my birthday his teammates cared more than he did. 

Anniversary 

"Happy anniversary love" I said when I found Jude in the kitchen this morning 

"Happy anniversary" he said 

I tried to give him a kiss but he dodged it and went to start packing his things as he has an away game later today so he's leaving soon. 

"I'm sorry baby I've got to go I'll see you later though" he said as he left leaving me all alone yet again 

~~~~~~~~~~

Today is a day I always like to forget. Both of my parents died in a car accident two years ago today so it's always an emotional day for me and my siblings, we would like to spend it together to distract ourselves but as I'm in Madrid we can't do that. Instead my friends invited themselves over so that I'd have someone with me which made me feel so much better. They came over early so early that Jude was still here as he hadn't left for training yet. He was doing his own thing as the girls all sat with me and let me get out all my emotions now by telling them memories I have with my parents. 

"You know they'd be so proud of you" one of my friends said 

"I just wish they were here to see all the things me and my siblings have done all thanks to their constant encouragement" I sniffled tears still falling down my face 

"Why are you crying babe?" Jude asked as he walked down the stairs 

"Just thinking about my parents it's the anniversary of their death so I'm just a bit emotional" I said 

"I'm glad the girls are here to make you feel better then I'll see you later ok" he said 

With that he left and my friends all looked at me with an expression I didn't quite understand.

"How long has he been like that?" My best friend asked 

"Like what" I questioned 

"Like you don't matter he didn't even hug you before he left even after you told him why you were upset which he should know anyway dates like this are important for partners to remember" she said 

"I mean it's been a good few months he missed our Valentine's Day dinner he didn't wish me a happy birthday until like 5pm and we didn't do anything on our anniversary" I said finally thinking about how badly he's been treating me

"Girl he doesn't deserve you he's taking you for granted and you don't deserve that" one of the girls said 

"I hate to say this but you need to break up with him clearly he's given up on your relationship and now I might be wrong but wrong but it seems to me like he's found someone else" another said

They were right for months now I've been at the bottom of his priority list and he's nowhere near the Jude I used to know and love. There is no affection there anymore it's like the love we once had is gone. He also has definitely been distant and he's never home so there is a possibility that he could be cheating on me. That's a thought that I'd put in the back of my mind and didn't want to think about but now that someone else that has mentioned it I can't let the thought go. Whether he's cheating or not things definitely aren't how they used to be and I need to get out of this relationship before it's too late. The girls all offered their support and said I can stay with them for as long as I need which gave me the confidence to actually talk to Jude later today. 

When Jude arrived home all the girls left and they wished me good luck which I definitely need as I'm nervous to actually have this conversation even though it needs to be done. Jude went straight to get in the shower so I decided to look at his phone because he told me the password but I have never used it as I trusted him at least until now. It took just seconds of looking for me to find texts between him and this one girl who he had clearly been seeing for months now. He kept saying he would break up with me but the time wasn't right yet and that he wasn't in love with me anymore which hurt to see. I wanted to cry but I held back my tears and instead just sent myself screenshots of everything and then deleted the evidence so he wouldn't know that I knew. 

After his shower Jude took ages to come back downstairs but when he finally did he was looking at his phone and smiling it made me wonder if he was talking to her the girl he'd apparently fallen for. He quickly noticed me staring at him and he just stared back not having a clue what was going on. 

"Jude we need to talk" I said 

"Oh ok is everything alright?" He asked 

"I'm just gong to say it I know what you've been doing and don't lie to me I have screenshots I just want to know when you fell out of love and why you did this instead of just ending things" I said barely holding back tears 

"I don't know it all just happened I'm sorry I should've handled this better I didn't want to hurt you but clearly I haven't done a good job of that" he said 

"Yeah you really have hurt me I should've known when you forgot about our valentines reservations but I was foolish and believed that you were just busy now I know you were with another girl" I said 

"I'm sorry" he said 

"I don't believe you Jude if you were sorry you wouldn't have let this go on for so long it's safe to say we are over I wish you well but please don't try and contact me again I need to just move on" I said 

With that I gathered my things and just left. I left my key, the memories and what felt like half my heart but it had to be done I had to get out of there before I got hurt any more. It's time to move on and start a new life with people around me who truly care about me. 

~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later 

"Come on amor let's go" Carlos called from downstairs 

"Coming" I said running down the stairs 

"Oh wow you look gorgeous" Carlos said 

"Thank you you look good too" I said 

He kissed my cheek and grabbed my hand so we could head out to the car that was outside to pick us up. Just a few days ago Carlos won the French open so we are going out to celebrate. I met Carlos not long after I broke up with Jude I wasn't even looking to date but I just happened to meet him on a night out with my friends and we just clicked. He understood that I wasn't ready to date properly but he didn't give up on me so when I was ready we went on a date and the rest is history. My plan definitely wasn't to date another athlete in fact I wanted to just have a normal life and date a normal guy but I couldn't just let Carlos go and I'm glad I didn't. We have been together officially for 6 months now and they have been the best 6 months of my life he always treats me right and he makes it known how much he loves me. 

Carlos has a lot of friends in Madrid so he decided to come here and celebrate his win with me and my friends as well as his before he goes back home to be with his family. There wasn't really any time to prepare anything so we are all just meeting at a club in town that isn't just open to the public so there shouldn't be lots of people there. All our friends were already there when we arrived as we got caught in a bit of traffic but they didn't seem to mind our lateness they congratulated Carlos on his win and we all went inside. 

As we walked down the stairs all my friends turned to me at once and I wondered what was going on for a second until I saw what they had seen. Jude was right there along with a few of his teammates. I haven't seen him since our breakup which is somewhat of a miracle seeing as I still live and work in Madrid and he has become part of the city. I knew one day we'd meet again I was just hoping it wouldn't be in a day like today I don't want to be thinking about him or to talk to him while celebrating Carlos as tonight shouldn't be about me or my past relationship. Carlos knows everything that happened so once he saw Jude his hand reached for mine and he gave it a comforting squeeze which made me feel a little bit better. The thing is I don't miss Jude at all I'm so much happier now but what he did still hurts me so seeing him for the first time since is a bit painful. 

"We can go somewhere else if you want" Carlos said 

"No it's ok tonight is your night plus he shouldn't affect my life now that's the past you are my present and future" I said 

"Ok as long as you're sure but you are sticking by my side all night" he said 

Jude's POV

"Is that y/n?" Vini asked 

Him saying that caught my attention so I looked in the same direction as him and there she was with all her friends and a guy by her side. I recognised the guy as Carlos Alcaraz the tennis player who just won the French open and a the guy y/n has been dating for at least the last few months. I found that out when late at night after we lost a big game I stalked her Instagram and saw a photo of them together on her private account that she forgot to remove me from. Since that night I have kept an eye on her Instagram I usually check it at least once a week to see what she's been doing and how happy she is without me. 

Since the night that she broke up with me I regretted making all the dumb choices I made that led to that point. Within days I broke things off with the other girl I was seeing and I have been alone ever since I just can't bring myself to see anyone else because they aren't y/n. It sounds stupid because I'm the one that ruined everything I'm the reason she's with Carlos and not me but she was the one I just didn't realise how much I loved her until she was gone. My mum has always told me not to take things for granted as once they are gone you'll realise their true value and that's exactly what I did with y/n I didn't realise just how important she was to me until I made some stupid decisions and let her go. 

I watched her with Carlos for a while and she seemed genuinely happy which made me realise that she hadn't been that happy with me for a long while before we broke up. It was clear to see that she loved him and I could tell that he loved her too because he looked at her the way I did when we first got together. It hurt to see her so happy with someone else because I know I could've had that but now I won't get to share any moment like that with her ever again. I deserve everything that has come to me I made bad choices and as much as I regret them now it won't change anything. 

I have to let her go because for her to be happy I need to not be in her life as much as that hurts. They say if you love her let her go and that's what I need to do let the one go because as much as she might've been the one for me I'm not the one for her. 

[loveriotss]

Hii! Could you do some Mr.Compress headcanons pls? Tysmm! 💗

HCS OF HIM AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ⸻ atsuhiro sako / mr compress

INCLUDES — gn! reader, fluff, headcannons, drabbles/one shots WARNINGS — reader is implied to be part of the lov/lives together with the

main masterlist — mha masterlist ༊*·˚

he lovess bragging about you to the other members.

literally will not shut up!!

atsuhiro leaned back in his chair, a smug smile on his lips as he sipped his drink. across from him, sat twice who looked like he was being held hostage. "you wouldn't believe the day i've had," atsuhiro began, his eyes sparkling. "y/n cooked for me today! it was so remarkable and exquisite! they made this-" "listen man," twice interrupted, trying to put on a pleasant expression. "i'm really happy for you and i love that you enjoy your time with y/n! but..how long are you planning to keep talking about them? it's been like almost 4 hours."

dates with him are always unique and memorable. private magic shows, picnics in scenic spots or romantic candle lit dinners in secret places.

a HUGE gift giver!

he will go all out! oh you were eyeing a pair of cute shoes today? he stealthily compressed it and presented it to you proudly. or maybe you had to reluctantly leave a cute giant teddy bear behind at that one shop...only to find out that the marble atsuhiro left on your desk was actually the teddy bear!

yeah he's technically stealing them instead of buying but its the thought that counts! (he is a villian after all, what can you expect?)

he's not afraid to show you his love openly.

expect grand declarations of love, like surprise dates or writing you countless romantic letters as if he were a lovesick teenager.

the other lov members are sick and jealous of you two.

he always respects your personal space and boundaries and makes sure you don't get overwhelmed by his dramatic personality.

as much as he is confident and flashy in public, he's incredibly affectionate and sweet in private.

late night cuddle sessions while you two talk for hours on end, comfortable in each other's arms. honestly, that's his favorite part of the day.

he can be a bit possessive, but not in an oppressive way.

usually more dramatic and pouty when he's jealous, making the situation more silly than serious.

in the dim glow of your room, atsuhiro sulked dramatically on the edge of your bed. you were completely engrossed in your book, sitting with your back pressed against the headboard of your bed. "do you know," atsuhiro began, letting out a melodramatic sigh, "how dreadfully overlooked and unimportant i feel at this moment?" you glanced up, an eyebrow raised. "oh really? and what is that supposed to mean?". atsuhiro shifted, leaning forward with an exaggerated pout. "well, it's not everyday one finds themselves overshadowed by a book of all things." you giggled softly, setting the book aside. "aww are you jealous of a book?" "jealous?" he scoffed, "whatever made you think such a thing? i simply can't bear to see my amazing presence overshadowed by..pages. that's all!" "alright, oh great one, i apologize for this disastrous behavior of mine. please forgive me" you reply, matching his tone playfully. his pout softened into a smile, the dramatic flair melting into warmth. "well, perhaps if you could indulge me with a bit more attention, i may consider forgiving you." "yes yes, my attention is now all yours." you reply, wrapping your arms around him as you place a soft kiss on the top of his head.

NOTE — omg i can finally make posts with the asks!! it used to glitch for some reason before when id try to make longer posts with it 😭. anyways i kinda giggled while writing this ugh im so delusional 🤭🤭. also added two drabbles/one shots (idk what to call it) just becauseee. sorry if this might seem a bit ooc, i referred solely to google to get an idea of his personality because honestly i dont rmb shit of what he said or did in the anime 🧍.

©loveriotss — all rights reserved to me. please don’t try to copy/steal my work. please do not use any of my ideas/translate my work without my permission.

[slaaverin]

I'm in my bed crying over jikook again.

The thing is, I don't even have the proper words to express what I'm feeling.

It's all so..God I don't know. Improbable? Crazy? It's crazy.

You have two humans that have the most pure souls, with impossible high-stakes lives, that somehow found each other and also found the most beautiful love I have ever witnessed in my 32 years of life.

The probability of this happening is almost zero. It shows there are really bigger and smarter things than little us at play in life.

They went through so much, and so much more than any of us will ever be able to imagine, yet they remained pure at heart, with their love growing ever stronger and more potent by the day.

They let us in on everything, and showed us the true depth of their feelings openly (but even so, it's written all over their faces).

They simply care, a lot. The little things, the trips, the quiet moments, all of it, they really do care. It's not for show. It's real.

It's like we're getting a glimpse of something that doesn't belong to us at all. Yet, they are generous enough to let us experience it vicariously through them. Isn't it an act of love on their part? They don't have to do it. It's not even smart or safe or reasonable for them to do it. But they do anyway. Maybe because they wouldn't be able to help it, even if they wanted to?

How weird it is that our love for them is that strong? We've never even met them. Yet we feel for them something more unconditional than what we feel for some people we've actually met. How strange, don't you think? So we cheer on and support and we feel it all. We care too.

And I can't explain how witnessing jikook's love has been wonderful, how it has filled my heart with an immense amount of joy and reverence and beauty. It is a mystery.

Somehow I feel it's not even about them, even if it is, obviously so. It's simply that love. Isn't something most of us miss? Long, crave for? Wish for everybody.

If all the people would be in love like Jimin & Jungkook are, there would be no wars in the world anymore. It would be completely different.

The lack of love produces incredible darkness, and it's only love that can fix everything.

So I think that's why I cherish their love so much. It is so very precious, so very important, in ways they might not even understand. The fact they have such an audience being exposed to their love, feeling all the feelings, it helps the world heal a tiny little.

It's not a small thing. It matters.

If we can all fill our little corner of the universe with that type of love, we would've won all the battles, done what we came here for, and call it a day.

They've gifted us the incredible gift of are you sure, where their love was quiet and peaceful and certain. They've given us the gcf. And Letter. And then there was Rosebowl, and MMA, and Black Swan. A thousand moments. Again and again they've showed us.

Now they are enlisted together, and I think that there's nothing more to add. Nothing to prove. Nothing to show. It is self-evident and we can only smile and be happy for them.

What an incredible journey it has been, full of laughs, of crying. So many tears (of joy).

When they will come out of military, we can say that a chapter of their life will close, and another one will open. Hopefully a even happier one than the one before.

So yeah I've decided to make a rather big edit about it, this first chapter, those 10 years of love.

(And you're not ready with some of the music I chose, it makes you feel ALL THE THINGS, prepare tissues)

Sorry for this post that is going nowhere.

Sometimes I simply need to scream my love for jikook. They truly deserve it.

Aren't they wonderful? Yes. Yes.

Take care lovely jikookers 💜

[dr-spectre]

Rambling about Marina and Relatability...

I've said in the past that i relate heavily to Marie, but as i think about it further.... I think i relate more to Marina... I just read through this incredible twitter thread by @ _CSenpai_ which i shall leave at the end, but it got me to really think... "huh... Marina is kinda me fr." (Also I'm gonna get pretty personal in this post so keep that in mind too.)

Marina has very serious special interests and clearly spends a lot of time researching and engaging in these interests. She gets VERY excited when someone mentions anything remotely about her interests and takes them seriously. Which is something i do as if someone even remotely mentions Splatoon out of the blue, my chest will go "BZZZTTTT" and i get the tingles and i wanna run around my room.

She's very into machinery, video games, music and manga/comic books. Marina stays up and overworks herself when it comes to music and her interests, which is shown in the dev diaries and chat logs in Side Order and Octo Expansion. This is something i tend to do as well as I consume my special interests way into the night and i can't go to bed because I'm so damn energized. Sometimes i become so focused that i don't even notice that time has passed by for so long and before i even realise it... It's 2pm and now i want lunch.

She corrects Pearl on wizards which reminds me of the kind of stuff i say during my rambles about Callie and her arc in Splatoon 2... I get VERY picky when it comes to people using ahem.... certain words when describing the events that took place.

In the Hero vs. Villain Splatfest, she is the only one who is taking it very seriously while everyone else is smiling or expressing anger.

She's using a god damn GAMECUBE CONTROLLER AND A HEADSET! She's literally me oh my god. When i go over for parties and celebrations and someone brings out a Switch and we play Smash Bros or Mario Kart? I take that shit seriously and i can't tone back my skill level and just have fun.

Also Marina is known to have sensitivity to certain food textures including mayo and pulp in orange juice. Now i LOVE mayo personally but i HATEEEE stuff in my drinks. I am a massive texture eater and i will avoid stuff in food that ruins the texture. When i get pumpkin soup for example, if i see vegetable bits in that shit i will actually feel sick and flick the bits off of my spoon.

Marina is also seen stimming and pacing back and forth when excited. When i tend to get overly excited by myself, i will literally violently shake for a brief moment and then squeal. I'm not joking.

Marina also tends to bottle up her emotions and often lashes out onto others when it's too much for her. Which is something i tend to do... I don't often say how i feel when someone asks how am i and i often wanna scream and break something when the anger is just too much for me to contain. I end up yelling by myself and cuss like no tomorrow. I can find solace in a character who does a similar thing i do, minus the cussing lmao.

I think one of the bigger reasons on why i relate to Marina is gonna be a weird one but... She is almost always seen with her headphones. No matter what situation she is in, she always wears her headphones.

Even when she's Marina Agitando and Overlorder has taken over her body, the Controller VM acts like headphones as it covers her ears!

Now this detail about her wearing her headphones almost often might seem minor, but to me it makes me love Marina even more. I always constantly wear headphones and it's due to various different reasons. First is because i love listening to music and enjoying background noise, second, it dampens the sounds around me as i can be pretty sensitive to certain sounds. And third... well... let's just say that i live with a uh.... loud parent who... gets pretty angry, NOT AT ME! THANKFULLY! BUT... when they scream... and swear... i put on my headphones and wait for the noise to go by. It's a comfort thing for me and helps get through those... rough periods... Marina wearing those headphones often and not being judged for it, makes me feel, happy...

...uh... yeah.

ANYWAYS! Another big thing i relate with Marina on is her want for order and balance in her life. She doesn't like massive changes in her routine and wants to maintain the balance in her life.

i do not like it when my routine suddenly changes and i get upset and angry. I have a strict routine and when it gets fucked over oh MAN OH MANNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

And that last point about feeling safe and secure, as i mentioned earlier with the third point about wearing headphones... I wanna feel safe and secure... I want to feel calm... I don't want someone to suddenly shout or get upset or for my routine to change and i can't do anything about it...

The only thing i don't relate with Marina on is well... Looks. Listen, i ain't no tall black octopus woman with a noticeable figure and a pretty face HAHAHAHA! I find it kind of funny that I'm able to relate SO MUCH to someone like her when I'm some 20 year old dude who looks nowhere NEAR like her. Except for maybe height i don't know.

However, i will say, i actually don't act this excited in person, i tend to be very shy and reserved in person compared to my online behaviour. I say words in a dry manner and i don't have the best social skills. So i guess that's where the relatability for Marie comes in as well. I'm a heavy introvert and despite my need for wanting to connect to others, i would rather stay indoors than go out and meet new people to start friendships or potentially a romantic relationship... like that's ever gonna happen anyways...................

I got two brain cells. It's them.

So anyways, that was all i wanted to say! I love Marina and she's my second favourite Idol, you can probably guess who's number 1 but i ain't talking about... her... well not today anyways.

Thanks for reading!!!

The thread that inspired this blog post: https://x.com/_CSenpai_/status/1367219374948376579

[starsofjewels]

no wait because I loved the autistic headcanons you did for tywin and tyrion!! of you could, can you do one for jaime as well? it was just chef kiss, I need so much more of it!

When Gold Met Silver

Jaime Lannister x Autistic! Lannister! Reader

CONTENT: Vague mentions of Joanna's death, Tywin being an incredible(!) father, subtle neurodivergency, Lannisters are their own warning

For any confusion, please read the other 2 parts of the series (link pending)

No joke I had 4 requests all asking for Jaime and the sister, so apparently it gets traction now (?) teehee...

Thank you everyone who submitted the exact same request, this was just the first one on the pile. Now I wait for Cersei requests....

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Welcome to the first post of 2025, and what a way to bring it in. I'm starting to think the autistic Lannister reader might just become a series at this point, but I'm not going to complain.

Happy New Year, hopefully it'll be better than the last one. I don't know what to expect from this year yet, but I have a whole pile of unfinished drafts to either finish or delete, so we'll see what gets pulled out...

Love you all lots xx

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

When you are born, Jaime is twelve years old- Nearly thirteen, as he is terribly fond of reminding those around him. He is a knight-to-be, and one day he will be a lord in his own right, and he shall have Casterly Rock as his herald. Jaime does not care about the squalling, pink lumps his mother produces for him any more than he does the young ladies of court, who bat their eyes and fawn, like little rabbits caught out in the open season.

But you are something different. And it is your fault that his mother is gone from this world, to whatever lies beyond. He will have no more nights under the stars, recounting each one to her delight, nor stories of his grandfather’s mishaps. He will never feel her embrace, or her love, again. Jaime Lannister is twelve years old, and he is no different from any other boy. He loves swords, and he loves sneaking glances at pretty ladies as they walk past him, and he loved his mother.

Tywin instructs him, very firmly, that he is not to speak such horrid things about his baby sister, nor is he to even think about them. You are beautiful, Tywin says, and perfect in every sense of the word. His gaze falls to young Tyrion, in the corner, with his nursemaidens, and his eyes crinkle with something like disapproval.

You are dressed, bizarrely, in silver and the kind of sweet, dusky orange one might associate with Dorne, and certainly not a pale Westerlands girl. Not scarlet, and definitely not gold. As it transpires, Tywin has had Tyrion’s swaddling clothes burned, or locked away somewhere, and he cannot bear to be reminded of a time Joanna, lively and beautiful, cradled any child in Lannister colours, so your blankets are fresh, and new. 

Newness seems to be a recurring theme in your life, as observed by a young, growing Jaime Lannister. He is far too busy training to particularly care, not as much as Cersei does, at least, but even a deafened, dumb beggar out on the streets could notice the blatant favouritism you receive. Jaime is not bothered by this, but he listens to his sister’s constant fixation with your father’s love to a numbing extent. 

“And she sleeps in his chambers-” Your move from the nursery to the Hand’s chambers has become something of an overused point. “She’ll be in his bed next!”

Jaime crosses his arms, unamused. He knows Cersei crosses the line frequently, and this, apparently, is one of those times. You are a little child, even he can see that, you have no control over your own life. 

“What, are you defending her honour?” 

He sits opposite his sister, and says quietly,

“She’s an infant, what does she need honour for?” 

It is the one time in his life Jaime can remember actually defending someone against Cersei’s jibes. Usually, he lets them slide through, with a vaguely interested hum. But you are a baby, and, despite how much he yearns to blame you for his mother’s death, it really is not your fault. The Gods could have sent Joanna any child, and any child would have done the same. 

And so, Jaime begins to see you how your father does. Where Tywin sees you as his angel of earth, his purpose, Jaime takes a much more mellowed approach. He takes you out riding on your pony, regardless of Tywin’s instructions, and, when you ask, he gets you a practice sword and your own helmet. With enough begging, he gets one of Cersei’s friends to cover the bruising with her powders. Your sister will still not look at you.

Cersei is almost jealous. That is, until a tiny, chubby toddler bounds into her lap and insists that she is a princess. Princess Cersei seems to have a certain fondness for her little lion-cub of a sister, and when Jaime finds her tying ribbons into your hair, he seems relieved, more than anything. After that, she dresses you up in her old clothes, and parades you about, practically on her hip, and pony rides are supervised; no more powders.

But, war is war, and war changes people. 

Jaime becomes a Kingslayer, and Princess Cersei becomes a queen. They are corrupted by court, corrupted by Tywin, and most everything falls into disarray. This is what happens when the mighty dragon falls to the lowly deer, apparently. 

You are seven years old the first time you come back to the Red Keep, with your anxious father, and a whole new king upon the throne. He dresses you in red and silver- A rather odd choice but, supposedly, you refuse gold with a burning passion. He has never heard of a Lannister refusing to wear gold. Even your bracelets are of silver- Silver and rubies. A nice combination, of course, but not a Lannister one.

Tyrion follows along behind, but he does not care about that. Tyrion is a young man, he has changed very little, it is you who is different- Grown by at least three, if not four, inches, your sweet blonde hair darkened down, and a still face. He can’t forget those big eyes, frozen in fear. You do not recognise him. 

Tywin keeps your arm, he moves Jaime away from you. Something is terribly wrong, apparently, and he cannot figure out what. Cersei seems to know, his father and brother know as well. And there is a jealousy which builds, to not be aware of this ailment. He thinks you are dying. You are not, of course.

“What is wrong with her?” Tywin looks up briefly from his studies. You are in your chambers, tucked up in blankets which, almost a decade ago, he can remember himself visiting and watching his mother hold you up. “She doesn’t talk, she doesn’t look at me- Is it serious?”

And his father sighs, in a way only he can,

“She is intelligent, nothing more than that. She likes her things in a particular order, and she doesn’t trust those she does not know.”

“I’m her brother.”

“And she has only had memories for the past eight moons.” Tywin stands, setting his book down upon his chair, “She will warm up, always does. Take her to the stables, she still likes ponies. But not the horses.”

Jaime wants to say more- What is so wrong with horses?- But he gets the sense that there is no more room for argument.

The next morning, whilst Tywin goes to inspect Jon Arryn’s timetabling capabilities, you are brought down with him to see the ponies, who are neatly sectioned in their own place. They bite the horses, apparently, the stablemasters are still trying to heal Robert’s stallion. You trudge past the larger mares nervously, and you jump when they make a noise, or move any more than a hair flick. Jaime has never known any girl to be afraid of horses, especially not noble girls; he has vague memories of a young Cersei escaping their mother’s clutches and parading herself around on a grey mare until Tywin could catch her. But by now, he has figured out that you are by no means a normal girl. There is something underneath the surface that no-one is willing to address, and he dares not bring it up further.

He sends you letters, however brief, and little gifts, and you begin to reply back to him, for it is only polite for a lady to thank her benefactors. Until, eventually, you begin sending him real substance: things you draw, the latest gossip and, his personal favourite, recounting the tall tales you overhear from Tyrion, and asking which words are the ‘bad ones’. He sometimes forgets you are so naive, though he hates to say it. When you write to him, you sound so normal, like any other little lady, perhaps even better. He can feel your emotions flow through your writing in a way no other lady ever could. Jaime keeps every single one of your letters hidden away from Cersei, but there is no real reason to. By this point, Cersei is a mother, and a fed up queen, she has no care for her shy, smaller sister away in Casterly Rock. 

And then, Robert dies. The whores, and the boars, get to him, but at least he dies happy, that is more than could be said for most men. Joffrey is a tyrant in the making, Ned Stark is executed publicly, and Tywin is named, for the second time, as Hand of the King. 

You are ill the days after your arrival into King’s Landing. A change in the air, Tywin says, not that Jaime is inclined to believe him. He knows you are sensitive, and assumes that, once you settle in a little, you’ll go back to the little girl he knows in his letters. 

What he forgets, of course, is that little girls grow up into little women. When he properly sees you, for the first time in what must be a decade, you are about as un-Lannister as he can imagine. Still in silver, sitting by the fountain, quietly brushing your dog’s fur. Your Septa takes her leave when she sees him coming,

“You’ve grown up.” 

“Did you expect me not to?”

Not the response he was expecting, but more Lannister than your appearance. All lions are sarcastic, literal. At least some part of you is tied to that. He isn’t quite sure what he wants- Perhaps you run to him like Cersei would, to jump into his arms and kiss him fondly and sweetly, as he’s seen you do to Tywin. Perhaps he is jealous of how your father treats you, or, more likely, he is upset that you love Tywin more than you do him. Jaime tries, he tries very hard, and it is you who limits him. He lets you be after some short questioning, called up to Cersei.

As your weeks begin to shift to months, he sees you more and more, from his position at Joffrey’s side. Cersei grows cautious and closed, as the rumours of the boy’s true parentage seep in, as though she expects him to do something about it. You are happy, though, he is sure of it. Tywin buys you new outfits, or you sew them, he isn’t quite sure, and you have that stupid, old dog which he is certain has stayed that age for decades. 

Of course, nothing can be peaceful for long. He goes to the North, to the Riverlands, or wherever his captors take him. He loses a hand, his long hair, and most of his dignity. Cersei falls out with him, Tywin views him as a pity-case, and he isn’t particularly sure where Tyrion has gotten to. 

Jaime’s duties are vague and little, supposedly to aid his recovery following the amputation. He spends much of his time standing there and, as tactfully put by Tyrion, ‘looking pretty’. He doesn’t feel particularly pretty, dressed up in gilded armour. And for once, he understands why you might hate gold.

It is one of these ceremonial days that you bound up to him, bangles up your arm and a new ring on each finger, stroking your way through a bouquet of wildflowers. He has never seen you so confident, or so happy. You plop down beside him, and he looks over, with careful vigilance.

“Where did those come from?”

You look up at him, you smile, and he finds himself growing increasingly confused,

“From Father,” You say it so obviously, as though there is no other possible answer. Jaime cannot imagine the great Tywin Lannister gifting anyone but you a bouquet of flowers, aside from the vague memory of Joanna putting daffodils in his sister’s rooms when they bloomed.

You offer him a single flower, purple; lavender, he thinks. Not uncommon by any means, but not a noble flower. He imagines you would like that sort of thing, simple, and defined. It sways from side to side in the soft breeze, not quite enough to rustle the petals, but enough to make its point known. The two of you sit in contended silence, watching as the occasional servant, or lower lord, rushes past to gain someone’s attention. The two of you are almost invisible to the greater population, he as a living statue, and you as an outsider.

“I’m coming to the Reach with you and Cersei,” You say eventually, glancing up at him from your seat on the steps, “If that’s alright.”

Jaime cannot remember why Cersei wants to visit the Reach, something about a flower festival- Or a wine festival, more likely. He cannot seem to imagine you, his delicate, little, sister enjoying such a thing. 

“Without Father?”

You shrug slightly, lifting yourself up from your step to stand in front of him. Of course, being smaller than him, you have to look up. You are no different to him than a little child in this state, though, most people are.

“If I’m going to be a lady, I have to learn to do things without Father, that’s what Cersei said. I can do things on my own, you know, I’m not a baby.”

He’s never heard you speak so well, so clearly. Perhaps he’s been mistaken in what he’s heard. This is not the shy, small girl he watched grow up. But he has no room to voice it, you continue,

“But Father says I can only come if there’s someone watching me, so I told Ser Meryn he has to stay behind me, and he’s not allowed to do anything for me- Unless I’m too short to reach something, I suppose and-”

Jaime takes you by your shoulders, and you stop. He is amazed, and you, for whatever reason, are exceptionally excited about the Reach. No one is ever excited about the Reach.

“Of course you can come.” He says, almost too quietly, “you can do anything you’d like.”

You emerge from the Reach a month later, rosy-cheeked, whether by wine or the air, covered in flowers, and babbling about something or the other, Tywin calls for him. Jaime sits on the other side of his father’s office, that fat, old dog spread out beside him. 

“She’s never been so happy,” The Old Lion rearranges red and yellow flowers in a pot as his desk. They’re new, he notices, probably a gift from you. “It was good for her.”

And that is all that needs to be said. 

[reasonsforhope]

Btw, if anyone cares to know, my position on Biden and the 2024 election is this:

Starting September* 1, 2024, I will be doing whatever I can to make sure that Trump does not get a second term as president

Until that day, I'm going to be doing whatever I can to push for an end to the genocide in Gaza and an immediate ceasefire, and that includes criticizing, protesting, and lambasting Biden for funding and providing weapons for Israel's genocide

ETA: I will still be posting about significant good things the Biden administration has done, though, because some of it is a really big deal that people deserve to know about

ETA: But I will not be defending Biden from any criticism around Palestine/Israel/war crimes

*This originally said October 1st but someone pointed out to me that there are a few states where early voting starts in late September, including a couple swing states, so I changed it because that's a very good point

I don't plan to tell anyone not to vote for Biden in the meantime, myself, because shitty two party system and I'm really serious about Trump not getting reelected

But I'm also not going to do anything to discourage people who are seriously rallying against Biden, because he is, you know, literally bypassing Congress to make sure he can fund crimes against humanity

I never want to diminish that reality.

And more than that: If we want genocide to actually be a dealbreaker for politicians and presidents... then we need to start acting like it could be.

--

Details/related thoughts:

I will still be posting about good things Biden and his administration are doing, because they are the ones running the US government and Congress is super deadlocked, so a lot of the national-level good news in the US has been done by his administration, and I'm not going to stop posting about that good news

Shout-out to the anon who accused me of being a US government propagandist with a whole PR team bc I posted about Biden a few days in a row. I promise you I'm blogging from my bed in my pjs and do not have a PR team lol

Also, for people who don't think we should be spreading serious criticism about Biden, for fear of Trump winning in 2024: I hear you--that's an incredibly valid fear. I've struggled with that myself, in the process of coming to this(/these) decision(s). But consider this: it's better that we really pile on the criticism and pressure now, because a) people are dying, and b) Biden's chances will be much worse if Israel is still bombing/decimating Gaza on election day

Relatedly, for anyone who's tempted to think Trump would be better when it comes to the Gaza genocide, again, it's really understandable to want to put your hope in any viable alternative. However, I promise you that is not going to happen. Joe Biden at least conditionally gives a couple shits about human life. Trump doesn't. Remember Trump's Muslim ban? In all likelihood, Trump would just tell Israel to bomb Gaza harder and ban Palestinian refugees from entering the US

Last thing on Trump: maybe this is naive of me, but for a lot of reasons, I'm not actually particularly worried about Trump winning in 2024. If I was, I might have made some different calls here. I have a few asks about this in my inbox and will probably make a post at some point about the reasons why, but yeah, Democrats have mostly been wanting to run against Trump instead of DeSantis or Haley or whoever for some very real reasons

You're welcome to disagree with me/this post in any direction, btw

Seriously, I'm just a random person who doesn't speak for anyone besides myself and my own blog. I'm not saying these are categorically the right answers, or that any of this is what everyone should be doing. This is simply the system I have settled on (right now) for how I personally want to handle all of this

You're welcome to disagree with me but please don't send me any angry asks about any of it. Not that I in any way get a lot of those, thankfully! But yeah, this isn't something I'm interested in debating, this is mostly for notification/explanation purposes

[sweet-s0rr0w]

day 31 of @hprecfest - most recent fic you loved

First Watch of Night by @tackytigerfic - E, 274k, 2024 (completed, posting as a WIP every two days, on chapter 14/21)

Harry Potter defeated Voldemort at the Battle of Hogwarts on May 2nd, 1998.

But what if he didn't?

Excerpt:

“Every single time your magic sparks off Potter’s, you could be eroding the edges of the world,” Draco said. “Though I suppose there’d be no Voldemort if the very fabric of our universe is destroyed. Excellent approach to victory from Team Reckless.”

Harry hadn’t hit anyone in years, probably not since fighting with Draco himself, in school, but he wanted to so badly that he could feel the hopeful tingle of it through his palm, out into the fingertips and collecting in his balled fist.

Interrogate the feeling, Bill would say if he were here. Let yourself feel what you need to feel. Harry suspected “let yourself embrace the violent desire to punch Draco Malfoy right in his smug mouth” was not quite what Bill meant when he had gone through those mindfulness exercises with the troops last month.

“Do you know what it’s like?” Harry said, pressing his hands flat against his own thighs, bearing down into the shifting muscle, grounding himself. It felt strange to be so close to Draco’s restless body. “Being me, I mean. Do you know what it’s like?”

“I don’t even know how to answer that,” Draco said. His colour was high in the spill of moonlight, throat swallowing convulsively. “Of course I don’t.”

“Just imagine,” Harry said quietly. From next door came the low sound of laughter. Malfoy had made it to bed, then. “Imagine being in pain all the time, constant low-level pain from all the Occlumency. And all the fighting. Years of it, Draco, years and years.” Under his palms his thighs felt tense. “I’m so tired.”

Without letting himself think about what he was doing, he shifted sideways on the bed and flopped down to lying, stretching his legs, letting himself sink into the mattress. Draco’s pillow was cool and firm under his hot cheek, and he closed his eyes. After a moment he felt the bed shift as Draco wriggled back down so he was lying too. The pillow under Harry’s head dipped with the added weight of Draco’s head, and he kept his eyes closed.

How do I even start with this fic, which I'd been hearing about for two years and looking forward to for longer, and which I FINALLY got to read (and even better, to beta!) this summer?? First Watch of Night is epic in length and even more so in scope; the worldbuilding is incredible, the characters are all fully-formed - flawed, but so very loveable, and at the heart of it all is a Tacky trademark love story, so deeply-felt that it'll stay with you long after you finish the fic. Plus... Multiverse! Angst! Pining! Draco and Harry getting to know their counterparts from another (maybe familiar...?) universe! Ex-friends to enemies to maybe-friends to lovers! Sharing a room! Spy Draco! Fencing! Rosie, Harry's gorgeous goddaughter! Multiple POVs! Action scenes! Sex! Wolfstar sex! (Brief) Romione sex! Other-Drarry sex! Look, this might not be the most polished rec of all time, but if you've read any of Tacky's fics before you'll know what they're about. And you'll probably already understand why I'm raving about this fic. So go, get started now, and you might just catch up with posting in time for the epilogue! (assuming you read faster than i do)

If you read it, and especially if you love it, please do let me know! And as always, please do take the time to leave the author a kudos/comment <3

day 1 - first fic you remember reading

day 2 - a fic rated G

day 3 - a fic not on ao3

day 4 - a comfort fic

day 5 - a romantic fic

day 6 - a fic for a ship you don’t normally read

day 7 - the best of your OTP

day 8 - a fic that was recced to you

day 9 - a WIP

day 10 - a fest/event fic

day 11 - an underrated fic

day 12 - a fic from your favourite author

day 13 - a rare pair

day 14 - a fic rated T

day 15 - a fic over 50k

day 16 - a podfic

day 17 - a fic that makes you cry

day 18 - a fic that makes you laugh

day 19 - fanart

day 20 - a fic with fanart

day 21 - a fic rated M

day 22 - a series

day 23 - a crossover or AU fic

day 24 - holiday (vacation)

day 25 - holiday (national holiday)

day 26 - a fic under 5k

day 27 - a smokin' hot fic

day 28 - a fic over 100k

day 29 - a fic rated E

day 30 the fic on tbr list i'm sorry i skipped there are just too many and it actually only sparks guilt

[yoiseul]

Drunken HQ headcanons 1pt

I don't vouch for the canonicity of the characters, this is just my vision of our boys🫂 Feel free to post ideas for other headcanons in my messages and incoming, I'll try to consider them💞 Enjoy the read! Timeskip only!!!

By the way, you can check out my c.ai profile @BONDLESS (psyche), you might like my bots ����

₊ 𑄹𑄹 Song of the Day: Lana Del Rey - West Coast.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

𓂃 ★ atsumu miya

Totally dissolved after a couple of drinks. At the stage of the first shot, everything was still fine, tsumu only felt a slight dizziness and a desire to go dance and relax after training. but after the 3rd shot, he already fell into a slight depressive state and turned into a complete sticky aching mess. Will call you asking you to pick him up from the place where they drank together as a team MSBY, whining and mumbling indistinctly into the phone about his boundless love for you and how much Mia misses your warm arms and gentle kisses. With a 100% chance he'll fall asleep in the cab, nestled quietly on your shoulder as you both sit in the backseat of the car. His fingers will be lazily entwined with yours, and his nose, along with his quiet snoring and sniffling, will be nestled into your neck, lightly blowing warm alcoholic air against your skin. You'll most likely have to drag Atsuma to the bed, because he'll refuse to wake up and all his huge weight with a mountain of muscles will be put on your body. Well... On the bright side it shows how much he trusts you)

"Guys say I'm too clingy... But I just love you.. I missed you so much I thought my heart would burst..."

𓂃 ★ akaashi keiji

Incredibly good at tolerating alcohol. In addition, Keiji only drinks on important occasions, such as the release of their new manga or the promotion of a colleague, and not much else. He sits quietly at the table enjoying the alcohol, speaks only during toasts, and listens attentively while sarcastically poking fun at his drunken colleagues. Aka is able to call himself a cab and get home, but is sure to warn through a message that a little drunk. Very quietly enters the apartment, trying not to wake you up. Hates the smell of booze, so he tries to change clothes and take a shower as soon as possible. Tiredness after a working day obviously plays against him, and the combo of a hot bath and drunk drinks makes him sleepy, so he's already drifting like a fly towards the bed, yawning on the way. Often he forgets to take off his glasses and falls asleep just like that, which makes him irritated and grumbling in the morning about the stiff bridge of his nose. Gently squeezes your body from the back in bed, covering your shoulders more comfortably with a blanket, quietly apologizing for staying up late, falling asleep from the warmth of your body.

"Sorry, I must smell like alcohol..."

𓂃 ★ suguru daishou

A clingy drunk asshole. Period. On a joint night out at the pub with your mutual friends, he's clearly had the most to drink. Sticks to you in the cab with an annoying whine, but you can tell his true intentions by that smirk. Just longs to be snuggled up against your white one, nuzzling his face into your warm neck while you mumble about his foul smelling booze. maybe let a couple of dirty (???) jokes fly, but mostly cute teasing that shows all his affection. Surprisingly, alcohol makes him more honest, and while in normal times it's quite difficult for him to say words of love every day, mundanely he replaces them with light loving jokes, now the sleepy drunken muttering of his "I love you, snake" can't help but make me smile ear to ear. The tight protective embrace around your waist, even if you're just riding the elevator home and from his drunken look no one would definitely even think of approaching you, never drops, and Suguru only continues to gently stroke your side with the palm of his hand. The only thing his thoughts are filled with is to rather hide you in a warm bed and, tangled up in a ball like snakes, fall asleep in your arms.

"Hmm... Snakieee, I'm cold... And your neck is so warm and cute, and your ears are burning with pink light, I'm sure one bite will warm the two of us...~"

[aew-kun-age-regression]

"Masks can hide a lot.."

Pairing: Caregiver!Captain John Price + Little!Simon 'Ghost' Riley.

Summary: Price comes up with a creative idea to help support Simon..

Warnings: Not accepting regression, bit angsty, mentioned little!Soap and Gaz, Nicknames (Bud, Buddy, Si)

A/N - An idea due to one of @little-babybell posts!!! <333 I'd like to add that I'm quite tired atm and I'm in quite a bit of pain so this might not be the best but it was fun to write and a good distraction!!!

‼️THIS IS NOT NSFW‼️

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Simon was still getting used to accepting his regression. Now the team were incredible when it came to showing support, even if that was just in the form of also regressing and being protective over Simon as they regressed older, showing him that it was okay to do so. However he just wasn't comfortable.. it didn't matter happen times he was told that "it's okay" he couldn't, wouldn't believe it.

It had been a particularly rough mission. Both Gaz and Soap were surprisingly not regressed however both men had decided that after the drawling mission that they definitely wanted a shower and to go to bed. Ghost wasn't exactly in that situation though. God how much did he want to though. He was sat in his room, gear still on. He rocked back and forward on his bed, dirt and grime crumbling onto the once clean sheets.

Price always checked on the boys after missions. And so after checking on both Kyle and Johnny he knocked gently at Simon's door.

"Ghost? You alright in there?"

A quiet and muffled sob could be heard from behind the door. That was all Price needed to step into his room, quickly closing the door, Simon wouldn't want anyone to see him in this state. Price slowly crouched in front of the crying boy.

"Simon.. buddy.." He paused with a small sigh before speaking again. "Can we get you out this vest..? You don't want all this icky uniform on right now do you?"

Simon nods slowly, lifting his arms in a way to signal that he wanted help. Price chuckled a little before helping him. By the time Simon was dressed into a hoodie (of Soaps) and some joggers he had calmed down a little.

"Do you wanna watch a movie in the living room bud?" Price could deal with the dirty sheets at a different time, right now his priority was keeping Simon calm. The taskforce had a designated living room area so Price was confident that noone other than taskforce members would be able to access the room.

Simon nods and after a bit of coaxing and the two ended up on the sofa.

Simon ended up choosing to watch The Good Dinosaur. As the colourful movie played on the screen Price reached into his pocket and pulled out a plain black pacifier offering it to the small boy. Simon whined, his eyes said he wanted nothing more than to use the Paci but he also couldn't bring himself to use it, he couldn't bring himself to be that vulnerable. Even despite trusting Price with his life.

"Hey Si.. I have an idea.." and so Price proposes the idea of using the pacifier but behind his mask, almost as though using it as a safety blanket. After a moment of thinking about it Simon nodded and slowly took the pacifier from Price's hands, placing it in his mouth and adjusting his mask to make sure it was fully hidden. He ended up nodding off about half way into the film, Pacifier resting in his mouth discreetly.

It was a small step forward in getting Simon to accepting his regression for what it was, a healthy coping mechanism that helped him greatly...

[nightwriter357]

Are you just playing with me? - Day 1

Damien Haas x reader

I've never written fanfiction before and english isn't my first language so go easy on me.

Warning: This first post contains a some SMUT but is mostly setting up for future posts that will be a lot more smut heavy. Includes: mentions of private parts, oral sex and teasing..

Intro: You have been apart of the cast for many years now and are close friends with every cast member. You have always had your eyes on Damien and lately you've become a lot more flustered. The story starts with you arriving for a one week vacation with the cast( y/n, Damien, Shayne, Courtney, Spencer, Amanda, Angela and Chanse) in a big house and you secretly hope to be seeing more of Damien then you have before and judging by the type of games you play and how messy you and your friends get you can only imagine what's about to happen..

Morning

As soon as you arrive at the house Spencer calls out " first dibs" and darts inside. " Oh hell no, I'm getting us the best room" Courtney says to Shayne and shoves herself past Spencer". You all look at each other and start running inside. You hear Angela scream out "that's not faaaaaiiir" followed by Amanda laughing and Trevor responding " to baaaad".

You would rather not share a room with anybody, you usually would, but you're scared that the late night dreams you've been having about Damien may expose your feelings Infront of one of your coworkers. Those fucking dreams.

Everybody had already ran up the stairs so you decide to find a bedroom downstairs instead. Shayne seems to be the only one who remained calm, trusting that his girlfriend would sort it out. You notice a door that hasn't been opened and as soon as you do, someone glides past you at sits down on the bed. You could tell who it was before even laying eyes on him. A mix of an earthy perfume and sweat that was almost sweet smelling flew past you as he did, Damien Haas.

"Aww, thanks for opening the door for me. You are SO SO kind." He said and smirked at you from the bed.

You gasped for a while, not just because he surprised you but also because of seeing him on sitting on a bed Infront of you. Many of your dreams had began like this. He would sit on the edge on the bed like this urging you to get down on your knees Infront of him. Your whole body would be trembling when he pulled his cock from his pants. You licked your lips as you slid down between his legs, your arms moving upwards from his knees towards his twitching cock as you-

"Hello" he said waving his hand in front of your face. Are you okay? He asked, raising one of his eyebrows in a concerned look. That's when you realized you've probably been standing there fantasizing for a few seconds to long. Fuck.. did he know? You knew you had to play it off.

"You know, I'm so incredibly shocked you would steal my room like this. I'm gonna tell on you! You're probably gonna get grounded" you said and put a smug smile across your face.

A smile crept across his face replacing the concerned look. " It might be worth it! I do need my beauty sleep you know y/n, I don't just wake up like this"

He was joking, obviously, you knew he didn't need any beauty sleep. He always looked fucking amazing. No matter if he was ten hours in to filming or if he had just busted in 20 minutes late, he always looked perfect. Especially when he was shirtless in the back of-

" Am I losing you again?" Damien said looking straight into your eyes, His hands were on your shoulders. Fuck.. you did it again..You slipped away from him and threw yourself on the bed.

" Oh looks like it's my room after all" you said with a big smile on your face as you opened your suitcase and started to unpack"

He laughed " you're not playing fair, I was actually worried about you, you now? But I do not like losing, you owe me.

"Well you should pick you opponent better next time" you responded still smiling at him. "How about I help you find a room? Then we'll be even."

"It would have to be a pretty nice room Damien said as he opened up the door for you.

When you come out you notice another door on your right. " See, this will be perfect you said as you pushed the door opened. Music was playing in the room and it was filled with smoke, a very pungent and familiar smell. " Hey dude I got us a dubble room, this I gonna be the best week ever" Spencer exclaimed from one of the beds. Damien looked at you "perfect huh?" "Bye boys, I'll be right next door I you need anything" you said throwing Spencer a wave and locking eyes with Damien as you slipped back into your room, right next to his.

Evening

After dinner was finished and you were all a few drinks in it was time for some games. Courtney usually had a few prepared and they were all alot racier than the ones you did on the game channel. " Okey everybody this first game is a dirtier version of some game or bit that we have done on YouTube previously, any guesses?" Said Cortney and looked around the room.

"Oooh ooh I know I know, it's Shane reads reddit stories with.. ehm.. eh.. with DIRT! Angela says with her eyes wide open. Everyone bursts into laughter.

" Noo, no absolutely not" says Amanda leaning back from laughing. When the laughter quiets down you speak up.

"It's try not to cum, no touching obviously" you thow Damien a quick smile.

Damien shakes his head and his eyes widens " WHAT?" He brings his hands to his face, still looking at you.

"How about cunelingus crimes" Spencer ironically suggests while raising an eyebrow

"Fleshlights with Smosh?" you say, Before taking a sip and promptly spaying the water out from laughing.

"Silent lube-erery" Trevor chimes in, bites his lip, nods his head and points to Spenser who points back to him.

" Who semen'd it" Shane biting his lips to keep from laughing "BA-hahaha". Courtney rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Okey Court, please say it not Who SeMEn:d it. You say making fun of Shayne's guess." That might actually be worse than Put it in my mouth" Spencer reaches out for a high five and you comply. Meeting Damiens eyes and smiling at him.

"Okay, mine is just gonna seem super lame now compared to all of your guesses" Courtney says giggling.

"Oh so no reeding reddit stories about dirt then, that's to bad" Amanda says reaching out for Angela who swats her away.

"I was under a lot of pressure OKEY? She jokes back.

"Okey so listen, I have a bunch of notes here with everybodys names on them and another group of notes with different feelings you should show to the person you get, during the night. So the feelings are Sad, angry, love and of course HORNEEY" she does a little dance and then continues." At the end of the week we have to guess everybodys person and feeling and whoever gets the most right WINS". She starts passing the notes around.

You open your first note and start to tense up, Damien, the note says. Fucking Christ am I gonna have to go around being horny for Damien I'm front of people?. You open your second note, angry, the note says. That might somehow be worse, you don't even know if you could act like you're angry at him.

"Okay guys so while this goes on we have some other games to play, let's start with never have I ever" Cortney says

"I'll start" Amanda says " Never have I ever, been horny at work"

Pretty much everybody in the room drinks, or at least you think so, you knew that you did and that Damien did. You wondered what could have made him horny at work and desperately hoped it was something you did.

"You guys are all freaks" Chance said pursing his lips before taking a sip himself.

"Never have I ever tasted myself" Shayne said

You drink, so does Damien.

" Now you have to tell" Spencer Points out.

"What" both you and Damien say in unison.

"if there is two people or less who drink you have to tell the story" Chance says nodding towards Spencer and then back at you.

"Well.. I.. I mean, you always have to taste your cooking before you serve it to guests" you said in a playfully voice, locking eyes with Damien.

" I don't understand anything of what you said Amanda exclaimed after promptly finishing her drink.

" I like going back for dessert after I'm done" Damien said still holding your gaze.

Oh my god, those fucking lips. You can imagine them kissing you all over your body, his teeth biting and leaving marks on your most sensitive spots. His hands grasping at your-

" Okey, so I'm ready to lock in y/n being horny for Damien, you didn't have to make it that obvious." Spencer said. Pulling you away from your fantasy.

Oh fuck, you drifted away again. Why can't you control yourself around this man. You played a few more rounds before ditching the game and moved on to just chatting. You were all pretty drunk by now. Courtney grabbed you by the hand and dragged you to the bathroom.

"You don't have horny for Damien on your cards, dude! Cortney said staring you down.

"How did you know?" You gasped at her.

" Because you are just ACTUALLY HORNY for Damien!!"

" Ssh, they could hear us" you responded putting a finger over her lip.

"Do you want my help or not" she smiled pushing your hand away. "What do you actually have"

"Angry at Damien* you responded grinning your teeth.

" Oh wow, you haven't been doing a good job" she responded and reached into her pocket. "Here" she said handing you a note. " Now it won't seem suspicious when you reveal your cards and I can just be angry at Chance instead of being horny for him"

"Thank you! thank you! You exclaimed before giving her a hug.

"Go get him tiger" she responded while winking at you.

She was right, you actually had a perfectly good reason to act as horny for Damien as you actually were. You practically sprinted from the bathroom and slung yourself back on the coach next to Damien.

"Hi"

"Isn't it a little late to say hi?" He joked and lightly jabbed his arm into your side.

" What do you want me to say?" You responded holding the arm he just pushed up against you. "I'll say whatever you want me to." You traced your finger up and down his bicep" I'll do whatever you want me to do", You bit your lip and looked up at him with doey eyes.

He choked on his drink for a second. " Oh jesus christ y/n"

You smiled at him, Letting your eyes linger over the parts of his body that you were the most hungry for and pausing and licking your lips. This was going to be a fun week.

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

Feast

AU Reverse Therapy

Previous Part: Tenderness

Summary: The Feast is coming and Malina has to take part in it.

Pairing: Chaos!Lamenter/fem!OC/Chaos!Flesh Tearer

Characters: Malina (fem!OC), Luka The Angel (OC Chaos Lamenter), Virgil (OC Chaos Flesh Tearer)

Warnings: yandere, violence, torture, cannibalism, forced stolkhom syndrome, dubcon, noncon

Word count: 8515

Author's note: This is the first time I've written such a huge post. Gods of Chaos know, I adore this trio. I will continue to write about these guys, but drabbles.

And special thanks to @kit-williams who helped me to write smut part!

Song: London After Midnight - Love You To Death (feat. Sean Brennan)

Tag List: @druidwolf21, @pluvio-tea

“A feast?” - the girl asked, puzzled, sitting on Luka’s bed. He was sitting next to her, wringing his fingers in anticipation. Just like Malina, he was listening attentively to Virgil.

“Yes, it’s something like a celebration after a mission well accomplished.” - the man chuckled, looking seriously at the Lamenter. - “Only the top brass and distinguished warriors are allowed into the most important halls. As an incentive for their merits. And I’ll finally be able to take Luka with me.”

“Oh, congratulations.” - the girl smiled happily at the blond.

“Thank you.” - the space marine immediately scratched his nose in embarrassment. - “But this wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you. Your kindness and beauty… um, the Emperor, our joint prayers… only thanks to this I became a better person.”

Vergil only rolled his eyes at this bravado. Partly it was so. With the arrival of the girl, Luka really did become a better person. But Virgil couldn't help but notice that the Lamenter had become much more accustomed to attacking mortals. And if before he had limited himself to the flesh of adult bastards, now he had switched to younger and more innocent meat.

“I'm glad to hear it.” - the girl immediately leaned her back against the wall. - “But I think you exaggerate my merits too much. You've always been a great warrior. And you yourself mentioned that Virgil was your mentor.”

“Yes, he fell on my head.” - the veteran snorted, stretching his shoulders. - “That's not all. You're coming with us.”

The girl thought for a second that the air had been sucked out of her. She looked in amazement at the smiling weeper, then at the serious dismemberer. “But I can't leave the quarters. Can I?”

“Can't. But this is a special evening. And you'll be with us. No one will touch you.” - Virgil grinned carnivorously. - “Let them just try.”

“If you’re scared on the way, close your eyes.” - Luka was almost wagging his tail like a puppy, unable to contain his joy. - “Although no, you still shouldn’t open your eyes. It’s pretty dirty here and a vulnerable girl like you might get scared. And I’ll carry you.”

Malina was fiddling with her fingers excitedly. The sudden opportunity to leave the quarters was terrifying. The very thought that she would have to step into unfamiliar territory. Where the screams were coming from… was incredibly frightening.

But did she have a choice? She wasn’t asked, she was simply presented with an accomplished fact. Moreover, she wanted to support Luka. And Virgil said that it was a holiday. She always liked saints’ holidays in the agro-world. She wanted to like this one too.

“Fine.” - the girl whispered. But the men no longer listened to her, arguing about how much food the mourner could take into the room.

***

The quarters were lit up with Terran solar time. Malina didn't know if it was set up that way or if Virgil and Luka had set it up for the girl. After all, the Astartes were almost mythical figures in the Imperium. It was almost surprising that she had managed to relax in such unusual company for all her time here.

The girl was about to go to bed, as soon as the lights went out except for a couple of lamps, when Virgil approached her.

"Don't go to bed. We're just going to the Feast now. You'll get some sleep tomorrow."

Malina just nodded, allowing the massive hand to pull her away from the cozy bed. Allowing herself to be led to the iron door. The last time she came this close to it, there was a blood stain here. Here, a young boy had begged her to save him. And now she would go outside.

"Come on," the lamenter abruptly lifted the girl by the waist, pressing her to himself almost in a wedding style. The girl blushed, hiding her face in Luka's chest. He and Virgil were in their everyday clothes without armor. - "Close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you, okay? You can even close your ears."

There was no need to repeat. As soon as Virgil opened the door, the girl immediately closed her eyes and ears, pressing herself against the Space Marine's chest. But even so, she could still smell the smells. The smells of blood and dirt. And from some rooms, the smell of excrement and dope was clearly coming.

This time, there were no screams except for a couple of rooms. And still, the feeling of otherworldly cold frightened Malina. She wanted to return to the room as soon as possible. The girl did not try to remember which paths they took. She would not take a step outside the quarters without Luka and Virgil.

But at some point, everything changed abruptly. There were too many smells. The room was filled with a hubbub that she was not used to. Malina trembled, clinging to Luka. She wasn't ready for the Feast, she didn't want to be here. But the Astartes only nuzzled the top of her head. "We're here. Open your eyes."

And she obeyed, as always.

She had never seen such a spacious hall as this one in her life. It could easily accommodate up to a thousand people. And to Malina's even greater horror, there were about 30 Space Marines and even more mortals. Although only a few of them behaved relaxed next to the Astartes. The others were clearly acting as slaves.

The portholes were completely closed, blocking the starry sky from view. The entire floor was strewn with pillows and blankets of rich embroidery. Red fabrics hung from the walls, and on certain ledges, in addition to the switched on lamps, candles were lit. And yet, despite the brightness, the hall was quite dark.

Food and drinks were scattered in the very center and in certain corners. The variety was amazing. Malina loved her food on the ship. Porridge with additives, hot soup and a favorite fruit drink. And was sure that the local serfs (or rather slaves) did not eat as well as she did. But the girl didn't know even half of the dishes prepared for the Feast.

The whole hall exudes luxury, bohemianism and hedonism. Things that the Astartes were not associated with at all.

The guests who had arrived were sitting at a distance, each in their own corner. Some were sipping hookahs, while others were getting drunk. But the one who stood out the most was the huge Space Marine in the center loge. The man was a real giant, towering over all the Astartes. And to her amazement, Malina recognized signs of obesity in some parts of the body. But the most prominent part of the body was in the form of a disfigured jaw with long fangs. Which he sank into a piece of meat.

The mortal woman sitting next to her, judging by her uniform and behavior, was the captain of the ship. Thin as a skeleton, there was not a single hair on her. There were bruises under her eyes from lack of sleep. And despite her sickly appearance, she held herself much more confidently and relaxed than Malina herself. Not to mention that judging by the way the two were talking, the woman was clearly not afraid to be cheeky to the space marines themselves.

“Wll, now give it to me here,” the veteran made a corresponding gesture with his hands. “Bacchus was just about to talk to you, so go to him.”

“Eh? Don’t tell me that the Voracious One wants to play as a mentor and talk about my future?” - seeing the flesh tearer’s smile, Luka groaned. - “Fine. Malina, I need to talk to our leader now. You’ll be scared of him, so go with Virgil. I’ll be soon.”

Malina only moaned in response, finding herself in Virgil’s arms. He immediately led her further into the hall while the clearly upset mourner headed towards the Astartes leader. Eventually, the space marine stopped near the loge. It was secluded enough that no one could interfere with them. And in the wall there was a round depression, reminiscent of a burrow. The curtain attached nearby clearly hinted that the person who decided to climb into the “hole” did not want to be disturbed. Malina desperately wanted to hide in the very depths, but instead the veteran placed her next to him on the pillows.

“This is our place, girl. No one will touch you if you stay in this loge.” - the veteran said, pushing the hookah closer to himself. Several dozen drugs were bubbling in the device, just waiting to be tried. - “You can take whatever you want, don't be shy.”

And there was something to take. In addition to the hookah and several packs of drugs waiting for the dismemberer, a whole buffet was set up on the bed. Malina had never seen such an abundance of fruits and sweets, fried meat and drinks in her life. Some of them were clearly alcohol. The girl tried not to pay attention to the torture devices that had also been prepared. Judging by what she had managed to notice, such devices were placed in each of the five loges. Most of the space marines were content with simple "seats" in the hall.

The realization that Virgil and now Luka were not the last people on the ship confused Malina. And she immediately grabbed the first thing she saw. A small beige cookie. Her parents were not exactly poor. The girl ate well and could afford clothes. And yet, they could not afford sweets, unlike the governor. But now she can try the once unavailable food.

“Where is all this from?” - the girl involuntarily asked, unable to tear her eyes away from the abundance of everything around her.

“Mmm, from the warehouses of the imperial worlds. Well, and some from the rogue traders. These scums have plenty of utensils for such entertainment.” - the veteran inhaled steam, sending a ring of smoke into the mortal's face, which made her cough. - “But we, the Emperor's Angels, need it more, don't you think? We must rest after a duty is done.”

“Yes, we need it more.” - Malina said, continuing to examine the cookies. She didn't want to look at the hall. And Virgil was clearly going to relax on drugs after months of hard battles. It was even unusual to see him in such a calm state. But she didn't want to breathe the same air as him.

Turning the cookies in different directions, Malina still decided to bite off a small part. The taste was sweet. Really sweet. The girl chewed as slowly as possible, trying to remember this unique taste. Before she ate another piece. It was absolutely delicious and she moaned from pleasure. But if she had any thoughts about trying all the dishes, they instantly evaporated when Malina finally glanced at the neighboring loge.

Another space marine was preparing tools on his knees, more suitable for construction work. He hummed, sharpening the blades. While two slaves kneeling nearby, whining, thin from hunger, looked greedily at the food. Waiting for their master to allow them to enjoy the food. If he allowed it at all. Looking closely, the girl realized with disgust that the slaves were still children.

Malina immediately looked down at her knees. She just needed to survive this night. The Feast would end and everything would be as before. She just needed to wait.

***

“Son, I knew from the first day that you would join our ranks. You were born to be a traitor, ha.” - Bacchus the Gluttonous laughed massively, causing his jaw to make a strange turn. - “Virgil is a good mentor. I hope he does not offend you too much?”

“No, sir.” - Luka pouted, watching the former Space Wolf gobble up the fried tyranid meat with both cheeks. The lamenter would have preferred raw, but alas, he was not offered even that piece. He was hungry.

“Really? And allows you to rob mortals? He is a real neat freak.”

“Within reason. I only have to not clutter the room.”

“Does he often give slaves for food? You are always hungry here.” - the man continued to listen attentively to the young lad, licking the bone. Despite his shabby appearance and cheeky behavior, there was a cunning look in his eyes.

“I hunt on the lower levels. You know these mutants, they breed constantly.”

“And he lets you touch your girl?”

“I don’t need his permission! She’s mine! I saved her! I’m her Angel!” - Luka perked up with irritation, which made his voice rise. But Bacchus only laughed at the excited mourner. The former Space Wolf adored this boy. But Captain Sever immediately hissed at the young traitor.

“Luka, watch your language. How do you talk to the commander?” - the woman’s creaky voice resembled the blade of a dagger. And she herself, sharp and prickly, looked angrily at the hunched over space marine.

“M'sorry, Eurydice.” - Luka sighed, looking away from the hairless woman. Just recently he had only made her laugh, and now she was building him up again. How difficult it was to deal with her at times. But Sever was the best in her field, and Bacchus demanded only respect for the mortal voidborn.

“You shouldn’t be so strict with the boy, Eurydice. I’m even touched by such love,” Captain Sever only rolled her eyes at the grinning Voracious. “An angel, you say? Hah, indeed. We are all the Emperor’s angels here. You especially.”

A sudden flicker and a light mist released into the air announced the beginning of the Feast. Luka shifted awkwardly on the floor, hoping to leave the boring conversation as soon as possible. While he listened to Bacchus’ wishes and Eurydice’s instructions, Malina was all alone. Yes, Virgil was with her. But that was not enough.

The Lamenter almost saw the girl crying from fear before his eyes. Curled up on her side like a kitten. So defenseless and beautiful. He could already hear her quietly calling for her Angel. He should have been protecting her and feeding her from his hand, but instead he was chilling here. Why? Why?

“Patience, Luka. I will let you go soon.” - Bacchus smiled softly, quietly chuckling at the nervousness and growing excitement of the Lamenter. - “Especially since Baphomet has finally finished all the preparations.”

At the same moment, a clawed finger tapped on the vox, calling all the guests to attention.

“It is time for the Feast. It is time to praise true power in the Galaxy.” - a soft voice carried over the vox like a love song. Baphomet loved to draw out words, irritating everyone around him. But not today. - “Then let us enjoy the feast that the servants of the False Emperor have so kindly prepared for us.”

One word, one push of the lever, and the main dish of the day was served to the hall. The captured servants of the Corpse on the Throne. Not just common soldiers or civilians. But the higher-ups. Priests, Sisters of Battle, Mechanicus. Even Astartes. Some were not destined to survive this evening. But other prisoners were not so lucky.

Some of the prisoners were brought in by servitors, tied to beds. Others were in cages. The wildest and most unfortunate were lowered into the hall on hooks. Screaming and crying, they swung through the air like lamps.

Baphomet loved mind games. His best device was to give a prisoner the illusion of freedom. In stasis, he lived out the life after a supposedly successful escape from the Red Corsairs. The prisoners believed that they had lived for decades, some even hundreds. Until Baphomet tore them out of stasis, taking them to the Feast. Their suffering, their pain and torment. Their hunger for illusion was the main food for the Immaterium.

Luke couldn't help but lick his lips as he saw the Ultramarine screaming in pain. The poor guy had lost all his limbs and felt more helpless than ever. Perhaps if the mourner asks nicely, Bacchus will allow him to eat him? He must satisfy his hunger for blood before he comes to Malina. And then he will satisfy a completely different kind of hunger.

***

Malina pressed her hands to her ears, trying to drown out all the sounds. But there were too many mortal captives. Too many for their cries and screams to penetrate her brain. Accusing and humiliating them for the fact that while they were suffering, she was basking on soft pillows. Eating and drinking as much as she wanted. She was not beaten, raped or tortured.

But if she left the loge, if she showed disobedience. No, if she showed hatred for her protectors, she would find herself among this hubbub. Malina began to cry, repeating the saving mantra to herself. She loved Luka and Virgil. They were her Angels. They were the Emperor's warriors. She had to believe in this no matter what happened. Then she would not find herself among these unfortunates. Her skin would not be torn off alive, they would not be devoured with a smile on her face.

Malina herself did not notice how she opened her eyes and again fixed her gaze on the neighboring loge. The Space Marine still allowed the children to eat. But he himself took advantage of their helplessness. And next to him on the table with fruit, a crippled monk was already tied up, screaming curses from the impossibility of saving the children.

The cannibal bastard, who felt someone else's gaze, immediately turned all his attention to Malina. Licking his bloody lips, he winked at her before again pouncing on the hand of the little boy, who was crying bitterly. At the same moment, the little girl, waiting for her turn, looked at Malina. She asked for help and condemned her with just one look.

It was unbearable.

Abruptly and without warning, Malina felt her hands being pulled away from her ears. A rasping voice whispered lies into her ear, trying to calm her. "The traitors of the Imperium got what they deserved."

Malina sobbed. She was a traitor to the Imperium. While His servants suffered. But she did not want to join them. She did not. She trembled as massive hands wrapped around her shoulders. The fear that Virgil might punish her robbed the mortal of her sanity.

“N-no, please. I-I’ll be good. I’ll be good.” - Malina burst into tears, not knowing whether she wanted to push the space marine away or cling to him. Breaking down from helplessness, the girl nevertheless pressed herself against the stunned veteran’s chest, clinging to his clothes with her nails like a drowning woman.

“Malina, stop.” - the flesh tearer awkwardly stroked the girl’s shoulders. He clearly hadn’t expected such a reaction and couldn’t fully understand how to react. The mourner was better at calming down damsels in distress. Virgil was much better at driving girls crazy. - “You’re good already. Don’t be hysterical. Stop it.”

The man immediately took a glass from the table, running his eyes over the bottles while the girl continued to snore on his chest. Finally, having mixed Malina’s favorite fruit drink and amasec, he gently grabbed the girl's head as best he could. And he brought the glass to her lips, waiting for her to open her mouth. “Come on, if you’re such an obedient girl, drink it. It will make you feel better.”

The girl sobbed, but that was enough. The veteran poured the glass into the girl, not sparing a drop. Malina didn’t even have time to take a sip, which is why the alcohol simply poured out onto her chin. Tears ran down her cheeks indiscriminately, but she continued to drink, waiting for this torture to end. As soon as Virgil removed the glass, Malina immediately began to sharply inhale air. Not even a minute had passed, and her mind was already clouded by the amasec.

“What a good girl,” the flesh tearer praised, admiring how beautifully the red color looked on her olive skin. But he was not going to hurt Malina. No. But the thought of pouring the blood of an unfortunate slave or a worthy enemy on her beat in his brain with intense force.

Alas, but seeing Baphomet finally come to the hall, the dismemberer sighed. Virgil knew that he could hope for Malina's prudence, and yet this was her first Feast. She needed to get used to such holidays, which meant he needed to keep an eye on her. Fortunately, such a ritual did not require open worship of the Chaos Gods from the Space Marines. This was done for them on other levels, openly offering prayers and asking for more strength.

“I need to go to our Apothecary and talk about an important matter.” - the veteran poked the tired mortal in the nose. - “Stay here and wait. Do not go anywhere.”

At first, Malina didn't even understand Virgil's words. She just stupidly watched as the flesh tearer left the loge. Until he disappeared into the fog. The girl groaned and lay down on the pillows, clutching her stomach. Amasek hit her head hard, but even he couldn't drown out the screams of the victims. She wanted to sleep.

She didn't know how long she lay like that. At some point, it seemed to her that someone was calling her. Hurrying to her with all his might, hoping to save her from this nightmare. But this is such stupidity. There is no escape from this nightmare. She was left alone. Buried in a feeling of despair and guilt.

Suddenly, the girl felt someone grab her by the armpits and carry her away. Malina immediately screamed, trying to push the kidnapper away from her. "No, no! Virgil! Virgil! Luka!" The captive, realizing that she had been thrown into a hole on soft blankets and pillows, curled up into a ball and closed her eyes.

“Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid.” - a familiar voice caressed her soothingly, as did a warm hand on her cheek. - “I’m here, I’m with you. Your angel will always protect you.”

There was no point in guessing who had hidden the girl from the chaos that reigned in the hall. Malina opened her eyes and let out a weak, frightened moan. Luka was clearly trying to wipe someone else’s blood from his face, but he couldn’t get it all off his mouth. This look contrasted with his soft smile.

“L-Luka, I-” - the girl blinked rapidly, trying to shake off unwanted tears. Malina didn’t know what she wanted to say. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. Should she pull away from the man or, on the contrary, throw herself into his arms? It didn’t matter what she wanted, she had to do the latter.

“I’ve come. Everything is fine. Sorry I was gone for so long. You were so scared, weren't you? Cruel punishment for heretics is part of the Feast. I should have warned you." - the man carefully wiped away the tears until his finger fell on the captive's lower lip. With each passing second, the pupils absorbed the blue of her eyes more and more. - "But now you're with me, I'll take care of you. Do you know why?"

"W-why?" - the girl sobbed. From the touching laughter of Luka lying above her, her whole back was covered in goosebumps. It seemed to be the same wonderful and kind laugh as the boy next door. But why does it exude such gloom? Such an obsession.

"Oh, my beloved. Because" - Luka gently leaned towards the girl's face, filling her entire visible view. She could not see anything except his madness. - "Angel loves you."

One moment and the mourner's lips immediately covered Malina's. The girl squealed in shock, which made Luka even more excited. Almost growling, he kneaded her lips without asking for more. Trying to put all the confession, all the feelings that had previously boiled in him into their first kiss. Now he could not restrain himself, not deceive his beloved. Now they would really be together.

Malina just lay there, stunned, unable to move. All the fears, all the guesses about the strange behavior of the space marines turned out to be true. But she could not even imagine that they would give themselves away so soon. To tell the truth, she hoped that this would never happen. But seeing a strip of saliva as soon as Luka tore himself away from her lips, she realized how naive she had been.

“Malina? A-are you alright?” - the young man worried, seeing the absolute horror on the girl’s face. He didn’t even understand why she was afraid.

“Y-yes. Alright. But you, you’re an Astartes.” - the girl’s tongue was twisted, she didn’t know what she wanted to tell Luka. Why was she clinging to the past? She needed to accept their “Imperial Truth” if she wanted to survive. - “Can Astartes really-”

“Of course! Think about it, would the God-Emperor deprive his Angels of such a beautiful feeling as love?” - Luka smiled happily. His face was filled with such adoration, which only made the girl even more taken aback. - “I love you, Malina. I have always loved you and will love you. You were sent to me by higher powers. I will kill everyone for you, I will devour every innocent soul just so that you will always be with me.”

The Astartes' voice dropped a lower octave, sounding less human with each dark promise he made. The girl only whined louder from such a confession. She felt that everything Luka said was true. And even if after the Feast little would change in her life, and she would always be protected. It was too much! Too much for her. To accept such feelings. To accept the death of innocents that would be on her shoulders.

But she had not opened the door to that boy. Even though he begged her. Even though he was also a prisoner, a loyal Imperial. Unlike her. She had no choice then, what choice did she have now? Did she want to be among the screaming victims? And Luka was ready to protect her here and now. He loved her. And Virgil cared about her.

Maybe she should stop resisting?

“Do you love me?” Luka nuzzled the girl’s cheek like a puppy. His blue eyes looked expectantly at Malina. And to her horror and disgust, she knew that her next answer was true.

“I-I love you.” - the girl barely exhaled before her lips attacked with renewed vigor. And if the first time Luka clearly held back, now he terrorized her.

The lamenter attacked her lips with renewed fervor. If earlier he held back just so as not to scare Malina. Now he was going to take complete control over her and leave marks all over her insides. It wasn’t even difficult for Luka to spread her lips with his tongue. With each clumsy but furious movement, he moaned into her mouth.

“You’re sweet, sweet like a berry. Like blood. And all mine.”

The girl blinked hard, hoping not to cry again from fear of such obsession. Malina watched as the lamenter, without breaking away from the kiss, awkwardly placed his hand on her chest. He immediately opened his eyes and pulled away from her, breathing heavily. Luka carefully kneaded the soft flesh a couple of times with curiosity like a ball. Before his hands found the buttons on the girl's shirt.

“I-I, I’ve been thinking about this for so long. Dreaming about this connection.” - the Astartes swallowed. His thumbs were struggling with the buttons, but to Luka’s credit, he wasn’t about to rip Malina’s clothes off yet. - “You-you’ll like it. I’ll be gentle. I WANT to be gentle. I-I’ll try. We’re going to be together forever, but this time has to be special, right?”

It was all happening too fast. Too suddenly, and the pressure with which Luka attacked Malina was terribly strong. She didn’t even have time to fully feel her feelings when Luka got rid of the top of her clothes. Shame, fear, embarrassment. Her whole world turned into mush. But she had to come back to reality again when the angel’s mouth completely grabbed her right breast.

“Oh,” - the girl immediately squealed, moving away from the blond. But a strong hand grabbed her by the back of her head which stopped her weak efforts. Luka did not give her freedom of action, completely controlling the process. He slobbered and sucked her tender breast with zealous hunger and such persistence that it even caught her. The pleasure was slow to grow but Malina could feel it gathering between her legs, but as soon as he tore his lips away from the breast, the growing pleasure melted away and Malina's hair immediately stood on end. Her entire chest turned blue from the hickey as if she had been hit.

"Your breasts are so small." - the eager Lamenter whispered enthusiastically, looking at the girl's stomach until his fingers reached her hips. - "It's so charming. You are charming."

But no matter how pleasant Luka's praises were, all this disappeared with the sharp intrusion of a finger into her pussy. Malina grimaced and groaned in pain, her hands shot to his shoulders, nails digging in as the pain was clear on her face. Luka’s fingers were too much… too dry to push in so eagerly and it hurt her. Luka could not stop the sad, almost puppylike, look on his face at her reaction. Even still he looked at her expressive face and he was so enchanted by how she looked up at him.

"Don't, please, it hurts." - tears rolled helplessly down her cheeks. The delicate folds squeezed, trying to push away the rough flesh. She could not stop herself from pulling away as pain drove her actions but Luka kept her in place.

“Sorry, but it will only hurt more. Virgil said that I need to stretch you and then everything will be fine.” - the Astartes kissed the girl on the nose before muttering. - “Although I have never seen him do it himself. Do I need to start right away?” There was a dangerous undertone to his eager ask if he could start right away.

“No!” She nearly screamed as her eyes went wide as she hoped he couldn’t smell her fear. With a trembling hand she placed a palm on Luka’s cheek, watching his eyes focus on her face like she was a mouse being hunted by a cat. She watched his nose flair as he inhaled through his nostrils. His movements stilled as Malina swallowed, finding her voice, “J-just slow down… I need to prepare, Please.”

The flush on Luka’s cheeks was the only note of his embarrassment but Luka was a good soldier when it came to learning a new skill. He was especially dedicated in learning this as it was his beloved Malina that needed him to hone this skill to pleasure her. Luka finally acquired a slow soothing even tempo and much to her shame she could feel her arousal growing. Her head resting on his chest as she could hear her own soft breathing as her body enjoyed the intrusion. She was already thinking about pleasuring herself by reaching for her clitoris and helping this along but sadly that wasn’t fated to come true. She tensed hearing the Astartes growl above her. Luka couldn’t restrain himself any longer the pressure in his groin was too much, he could feel himself salivate as he pulled the finger free of her warm walls and pushed it into his maw. Luka moaned as he cleaned his finger and he couldn’t wait any longer. He could not stop repeating his apology while he pulled his clothes off. 

Malina flinched away as he pulled back slightly, stripping himself free of his clothes. His body was scarred and clearly that of a warrior that the angelic face of his hid. He continued his weak apologies, “I can’t, I can’t. I want to be inside you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” - Luka positioned himself between her thighs, she whined and flinched at the throbbing flesh pressing against her, ignoring Malina’s weak sobs, looking soothingly at her stomach. - “It will be better next time. Just relax, alright?”

Malina shuddered internally at Luka's words. This was only the beginning, she guessed. But hearing that the Lamenter would take her to bed more than once. At that moment, she felt so helpless and pathetic as never before. The fear of invasion overwhelmed her. She felt that she could no longer restrain herself. It did not matter whether the Astartes would get angry or not. She was scared. 

"Luka, wait, wait! Stop!" - the girl pressed her palms to the Space Marine's shoulders, almost pushing him away. - "I c-can't, I'm scared! I've never... I-I'm a virgin."

Maybe she expected pity from him? Or was she still afraid of his anger? But Luka's warming eyes and the death grip of his hands on her hips were the best answer. Malina did not stop him with her confession. She excited him.

"It's a sign. It's a sign! We're meant to be together." The warrior cooed over her, pressing his cock harder and harder against her lower lips. "Don't be afraid, I'm your savior. Relax. Relax.”

She tried, she really did. The girl really tried to relax and let the natural lubrication help in the penetration. But it still hurts. Too much pain. Luka moaned openly, experiencing the soft body. He tried to move slowly, giving his beloved a chance to get used to him. But the soft folds wrapped around his member like a warm embrace. Like a home. And as soon as he cut through the fabric, pushing her virgin body to its limit, and felt the metallic scent of blood, he exhaled furiously.

The Lamenters were much better at resisting the Black Rage. Although in extreme situations, even they were not able to cope with it. This happened to Luka, when he tore his brothers apart with his own hands. Now he was a slave to the Blood Thirst. But the smell of the girl's blood... it was metallic, unremarkable. But it was the blood of his Malina. And it spilled in such a humane way.

Luka himself did not notice how he increased the pace, pounding harder into the pliable body. She was tight, warm, alive. And although he heard her crying from afar, the Astartes knew that it would not last long. Soon he would see her gentle smile again. Soon she would invite him to bed herself. Soon, soon.

Malina was already openly crying at this point. Trying to hide her suffering was useless. She just wanted him to come out of her. But as soon as Luka awkwardly leaned towards her face, she immediately hugged him around the neck, pressing herself against his hard body. She wanted him to stop this torture so much.

“Please, please, slow down.” - she raised her head, kissing the angel’s chin. He immediately blushed at her antics. - “Angel, don’t hurt me.” She begged so pitifully.

Luka breathed hard through his nose. His eyes bulged as he stared at her. He looked like an animal, feral and wild. But at least he slowed down. Malina winced, resting her head on his shoulder as if seeking protection. Luka, entranced by her movement, slowly rocked his hips, but even so, it was too difficult for her to get used to his size. Malina felt how her whole being resisted Luka and prayed that he would not tear her apart. But for now, albeit with difficulty, the Lamenter held back his urges.

For some time, she pressed her forehead against the other’s shoulder, softly and breathlessly thanking him for moving slowly, unknowingly enamoring Luka more and more to the idea she was his soft and gentle thing, until one movement hit the right spot. For the first time, moaning not only from pain, Malina looked at Luka. He looked excitedly into her brown eyes, moving in the right direction again. The next sigh only gave him a stronger desire to speed up despite Malina's whining.

But he was no longer listening to her.

It seemed that they were both lost in the emotions and feelings that had engulfed them. Only moans and sounds of flesh on flesh were heard. Luka was enjoying this. He was enjoying every moment, every new sensation from how his cock was thrusting into her cervix. Enjoying the closeness with the girl. How her hair and arms were scattered on the pillows. How her breasts were bouncing. How her closed eyes and parted lips expressed pure bliss. She looked like an angel. And the knowledge that this was only the beginning only drove Luka crazy, causing drool to drip freely from his mouth.

And Malina… she just resigned herself. After all, what more could she do? She was at Luka’s tender mercies even if he was bruising her hard. She relaxed as best as she could trying to adjust just hoping the pain would subside. She focused on the sounds of flesh meeting flesh, ignoring the cries of those suffering behind the dome. She focused on the wet churning sound her sensitive sex now made as Luka’s cock pushed in and out of her sex, ignoring those pleas of mercy in the distance. She focused on the way Luka breathed… it sounded inhuman. Malina could feel the way his drool dripped onto her skin making the flesh itch slightly but she moaned as Luka aimed for that spot inside of her. Luka was scary, he was horrifying… and she forced herself to repeat the mantra that he loved her. He loved her. And she was certain that Virgil did too. It now just rested on her… she just needed time… she felt herself arch as the coil inside of her tightened… she just needed time. 

And she had plenty of time.

***

Malina was lying on Virgil's lap after what had happened. After she and Luka had finished, the girl immediately asked to get dressed. She was still embarrassed that they had sex almost in front of everyone. Although the fabric hid them, and according to Luka, everyone gave in to their temptations. But remaining naked was beyond her.

Virgil just found her when Luka, hugging the girl, cooed over her. Tired in shabby clothes, Malina then looked into Virgil's eyes without strength. He immediately frowned, took the girl in his arms and told the Lamenter that she needed to rest. And he should not interfere and better fill his belly. Moreover, there were too many mortal prisoners at this Feast.

Virgil, sitting on the pillows, smoked the drug, occasionally glancing at the bloody spectacle in the hall. Where the “actors” on the stage built for the evening had to really cut themselves and each other. But according to the flesh tearer, “this is the best punishment for traitors to the Imperium.” She, of course, should not watch these horrors. Malina was grateful that their loge was far from the performance.

She just wanted to fall asleep. Close her eyes and find herself in a familiar room as soon as possible. At home. And hope that the new Feast will not come soon. The distant screams in the corridor did not seem so frightening now. Malina shuddered at such thoughts. No, she should not perceive this as the norm. Let her be anxious, but it is better than losing a part of herself.

“It will be over soon, don't worry.” - Virgil gently stroked the girl's head, catching her trembling. Red eyes carefully followed her every movement and facial expression. - “We’ll go back to our place and you’ll get some sleep. It’s been a hard day, hasn’t it?”

The girl only nodded, clinging closer to the veteran. He only grinned like a shark. Well, it was worth taking Malina to one celebration and she lost all fear of him. And it’s embarrassing to admit, but he even liked it.

Of course, Luka didn’t miss his chance to grab a tasty morsel. Virgil could have also claimed his rights that day. Or waited until Malina fell asleep. But he generously decided to let the girl rest. The flesh tearer would still have time to embrace her and enjoy her. Maybe even when she was awake. Without hiding, admit to her how much he had become attached to her.

However, a mortal who suddenly appeared distracted Virgil from his thoughts. The man, recognizing the imperial jester in front of him, grinned. He didn’t even know whether he was annoyed or, on the contrary, wanted to laugh. But as soon as he remembered one of the evenings, a predatory smile appeared on his lips. Oh, how vile he was towards such a wonderful beauty.

“Malina, you said that you loved the sermons of Saint Ignatius, right?” - the heretic licked his lips seeing how the girl’s eyelashes fluttered tenderly. - “You can meet your hero.”

The captive pressed her lips and fingers together, staring at the legs of the man who approached them. She only felt a new wave of fatigue from Virgil’s barely restrained laughter. From the fact that she was destined to meet on the ship with the man whose sermons she had listened to as a little girl. And raising herself on her elbows, Malina finally looked at the uninvited guest. At that moment, she felt nothing. Neither fear nor disgust. Only compassion and pity.

The God-Emperor abandoned even his most faithful servant.

Malina had always imagined Saint Ignatius as a middle-aged man. With a kind and gentle smile. And wise eyes that had seen the horrors of the Immaterium. And her expectations were justified. The priest really did look like she had imagined. Only instead of eyes, there were gaping chasms, and the skin from his cheeks and forehead was disgustingly stitched together to hide the terrible holes. Enormous cuts shone on his cheeks. All his white and gold clothes were stained with blood and worse.

“Ah, this is that beloved that Luka told me about.” - the man turned his head towards the girl. His voice was soft and soothing. He had no eyes, but he saw her. - “I am glad that another soul on this holy ship finds time to read my sermons. Did you like them?”

“Yes.” - Malina didn’t lie. She didn’t see the point. And lying to Saint Ignatius would be blasphemy. “They give me hope.”

It was hope that kept her afloat. Although the captive couldn’t even really say what to hope for. The light of the God-Emperor was farther from her than ever and she didn’t think she would return to it. Maybe she didn’t even want to. And yet, this light was still a part of her.

“That’s nice, my dear. That’s nice.” - Ignatius smiled softly, causing the cuts on his cheeks to bleed a little. But he didn’t pay attention to it, apparently accustomed to the pain. - “I hope someday your protectors will allow us to pray together.”

“I-I don’t think that will happen soon,” the girl noted evasively. She was grateful to Virgil for his silence. Although just recently the Flesh Tearer clearly enjoyed the opportunity to see her fear. Now he just silently watched the awkward conversation.

But she really wanted to see Ignatius again. Never before had she felt so connected to someone. His sermons in church warmed her heart, and his books here gave her strength. But meeting the saint, Malina clearly felt that he was a person like her. In need of support.

“Not soon does not mean never, right? Time will tell. I will not distract you. It was nice to meet such a beautiful girl. And remember, Malina. The Emperor protects.”

Oh, how she wanted to say that this was not her name. How she wanted to say that no one would protect them. That she prayed less and less, that she had almost lost her faith. And yet, hearing the parting words, the girl smiled back. There were no tears. Only peace.

“The Emperor protects.”

The man nodded before leaving the girl. No one paid attention to Ignatius except perhaps one Space Marine. He laughingly ordered the priest to brand the "heretic" on his forehead. And the saint, not knowing what he was doing, agreed with all his religious fervor.

“Well, how are you? Are you glad you met him? Not every ship has its own saint. Ignatius resisted for a long time, but he finally realized that his fate is now tied to ours. Just like yours.” - Virgil blew out a cloud of smoke, relaxing more and more from the drug. - “And if you behave well, you can pray with your saint.”

She will. She will always behave well in order to survive. To enjoy every day, without going crazy with fear and sadness. And now Malina will be even more obedient. If only to meet Saint Ignatius again. Close her eyes, say a prayer and for a second imagine that she is not here. As if she is at home.

The priest slowly, as if groping, walked forward, not paying attention to the horrors happening in the hall. Luka, who was hurrying to the flesh tearer and the mortal, almost recoiled when he saw Saint Ignatius. The freckled boyish face twisted in disgust. For a second, the girl thought she saw fear. She couldn't tell whether she liked the sight or not.

"Virgil, I've run into that nasty old man Ignatius again. Why doesn't Bacchus keep that animal on a leash, eh?" The Lamenter shrugged. At that moment, he didn't look like an angel at all. But as soon as he knelt down in front of the girl, his face immediately transformed with puppy-like delight. - "Hey, Malina. Look what I brought you."

The Astartes handed the girl a deep glass plate, completely filled with berries. The girl had grown up on an agri-world. She knew enough about plants to understand what was in front of her. And yet these berries were unfamiliar to her. Surely only aristocrats ate them. The dark brown liquid inside the plate did not disgust her. But it was also unfamiliar to her.

“What is this?” - Malina muttered embarrassedly, unable to look Luka in the eyes. After what had happened between them, she still felt embarrassed. She still felt the burning between her legs. Fortunately, the Astartes allowed her to wipe away the blood and his sperm.

“Strawberries in chocolate. It's really tasty. They are usually eaten by rogue traders and other mongrels of the Emperor.” - The Lamenter did not watch his language, staring at the girl. - “Try it, you will like it.”

Malina carefully scooped up a berry and bit off half. She had never eaten such sweet food in her life. Trying to chew slowly just to prolong the pleasure, the girl still looked into the blue eyes. The Astartes smiled triumphantly, still holding the plate in front of her, like a bowl in front of a kitten.

“Indeed, it is delicious. Thank you.” - Malina turned to the almost prone flesh tearer, holding out the berry to him. - “Virgil, do you want some?”

The veteran raised an eyebrow in surprise at the girl’s offer. But without saying anything, he slowly leaned towards the surprised Malina. Smirking, he grabbed the strawberry with his lips and ran his tongue over her trembling fingers. Virgil didn’t even know what was nicer. The girl who had gone quiet from shyness or the blond burning with jealousy. The berry was nothing compared to the blood.

“It’s really delicious.” - the man almost growled, which made Malina almost fall onto the pillows. She shyly clasped her hands to her chest before looking at the silent Luka. Even if the Astartes had any bad thoughts, they immediately disappeared as soon as he saw her innocent and fragile look.

“Here, take it.” - the lamenter placed the plate in the girl’s hands to free his own. He immediately sat down next to Virgil, pulling Malina towards him. Her back touched his chest and she immediately felt the heat of the Astartes' heated body. - "This is all yours. You must eat well to be healthy and beautiful. Right, my sweetie?" Luka almost whispered in the girl's ear, kissing her temple.

Malina nodded, trying to enjoy the strawberries and trying to calm her nerves. While Luka's massive arms gently wrapped around her waist and gently cupped her breasts. But he still restrained his urges, gently kissing the top of his beloved's head and cheeks. While Virgil continued to smoke drugs and keep an eye on the unfortunate captive.

Each of them felt different and at the same time the same feelings. As if they had become closer than ever before. Perhaps that was the case. Luka was beside himself with happiness, enjoying his open obsession. The opportunity to love endlessly and devotedly as he could a monster like him. Virgil continued to hide in the shadows, remaining more of an observer. But even so, he managed to settle in the heart of their angel. As she in his.

It was strange. Strange and wrong. But Malina finally managed to relax, finding herself in the presence of two men. She had never received and would never receive so much love and care as from Luka and Virgil. And although Malina would always be afraid. But this was the best alternative.

***

Massive arms gently carried the fragile body, pressing it to her chest so tightly that Malina could hear someone else's heartbeat. Of course, the girl knew that Astartes had two hearts, but knowing was one thing, and hearing was another. I wonder. Does this mean that they love twice as much?

Malina happily listened as the rumble, screams and cries moved away with each step. All sounds disappeared as if in a haze. She was tired, she could not open her eyes. But she still could not allow herself to sleep. She could not afford such a luxury until they returned to a safe corner. Her little paradise.

Finally, the familiar sound of an opening iron door was heard. A couple of steps and the girl felt the softness of a familiar blanket and pillow. The air was filled with the aroma of candles, recently eaten soup and gunpowder. It smelled as it should have.

"Now you can sleep." - Virgil said. His voice was very close to Malina and at the same time far away. As if the man was everywhere. - "You deserve to rest."

She really needed to rest.

"Are we home?" - the girl murmured sleepily, clutching the blanket in her fingers. A sigh was heard above Malina's head before someone else's hands stroked her head. Tenderly and softly, with all the love.

"Yes, Malina. We are home." - Luka whispered before kissing her cheek. Carefully and quickly, just so as not to disturb her. Falling asleep, she felt someone else's gaze for a very long time. Finally.

She was home.

[bonkwosher]

OMGOMGOMG… i saw your dan stevens character x reader post and i’m literally the happiest person alive over how accurate they are 😭😭💖💖 if you don’t mind me requesting (holding back sending so many requests in the future): how would frank/trapper/david react to a partner with stuffed animals/plushies? (as somebody who has a bunch of sanrio ones and kinda gets clowned on by some family members for it 😭) 🥺 + maybe what stuffed animals they’d give to their partner as a gift? THIS ONES SO SPECIFIC BUT 😭💖

A/N: I'm so incredibly glad someone enjoyed my headcanons that much. Also, please send me a million requests it would make me so happy (no pressure). Also Also, I loved reading your reaction through hashtags in your reblog lol

Pairing(s): Travis "Trapper" Beasley x GN!Reader, Adam "Frank" Barnett x GN!Reader (Separate), David Collins x GN!Reader (Separate)

Contains: The boys reacting to the reader having stuffed animals, the boys giving you stuffed animals, sex mentioned with Frank but barely, Frank being a dork, Trapper being a sweetheart, David being a good listener

Frank:

I have a feeling Frank might be a little weirded out, for lack of a better word, at first, especially if there are a lot of them. If you've got a couple he'll be fine with it but if there's a bunch he'll just be a little confused as to why they're important at first. Like this man can't grasp why you have an attachment to them.

As you spend more time together he'll pretty easily get used to them. If they have names he will only refer to them by name, he won't call them stuffed animals, plushies, stuffies, etc. He becomes like the dad that didn't want a pet, then cut to the dad absolutely loving the pet but never admitting it.

Like you two go to sit on the couch together to watch a movie & you left a stuffie on the couch & he fully treats it like a human. Like he nods at the little guy & goes "Gerald," in greeting before scooting the plushie to the side of the couch.

If you store a bunch of them on your bed, he definitely refers to them as "the fellas" regardless of their genders if they have any. Like he'll climb into your bed getting ready to cuddle you & acknowledges them saying, "What's up fellas?" Mainly because it makes you laugh.

He definitely does not like them facing you two when you're having sex or making out. He will turn them to face the wall one by one if he has to.

After finding out that you like plushies so much I think Frank would be the kind of guy to buy you one before he goes on long heists. He did it once & that made you smile so he kept doing it. The first time he brought you a little one, a white cat with yellow spots.

"You know, I'll be on a business trip the next couple days & I thought this one looked like me so I thought it would be a good idea. Now you don't have to miss me or whatever."

You definitely agreed that it looked like him. The little cat had a scowl & everything.

Trapper:

Trapper probably has an old stuffed animal from his childhood that's being held together by many different stitches & still sits on his bed to this day. So when you tell him you have stuffed animals he's not even phased, actually, he shows interest in them.

He wants to know their names, & if they don't have names he wants to name them.

There was a time when you & Trapper had gotten into an argument & he gave you some time to cool down & he stayed in the bedroom. The door was left ajar & you heard some quiet talking. After getting the right angle you manage to catch the man talking to your pile of stuffed animals that lived in the corner of the bed about how sorry he was & how he didn't mean to upset you.

As you watch your hand accidentally knocks the door a little causing it to squeak on its hinges. Trapper immediately turns to you, his face flushing when he realizes you were there. "I'm sorry, your stuffed animals are just really good listeners."

If any of your stuffies get ripped or you find a hole in one you better believe he goes full vet mode. He's had to do stitches before so sewing is nothing. He will play hard into the vet thing to make you laugh, especially if your stuffed animal getting ripped is a big deal for you. He'll whip out a stethoscope, wrap the limb that got ripped in some paw print bandages, etc. He also loves any praise about him being good at his job so please give him some.

I feel like Trapper's stuffie gifts would come with a story. Like the day he took out King Kong's tooth he probably got you a King Kong stuffie & told you all about it. Now next to whatever stuffed animals you have you have all the titans of the world (at least the ones he's worked on) in plushie form.

David:

David, like Frank, will probably have a little bit of a tough time gathering what makes them so special to you but he would probably just straight up ask you. David loves listening to you talk about just about anything, especially when it's something you care about. So when you tell them why they mean so much to you, it only brings him joy.

I imagine before you were even partners & he was heading off to the army (He would not have left if he had the guts to ask you out), you gave him a small stuffed animal to remember you by. As he was getting ready to go & everyone got a little teary-eyed, he swore to you that he would keep that little stuffie until he saw you again. That little guy survived a war & when David returned, you best bet that little guy was alive & well in his backpack. He stays with him in that big ass green backpack to this day.

Whenever you're away on business or don't get home till late, you'll arrive home to see David cuddling one of your stuffies to help him sleep. He claims it has the slightest smell of your perfume/cologne/etc & it reminds him of you.

If the collection grows past space on your bed for all the stuffies, David will build you a shelf for them. You won't even ask him to. He'll just see that you have space in your room for a shelf, you'll off-handedly mention you're running out of space on your bed for the stuffies, then he'll put two & two together & build you that thing. An added bonus, he'll probably be in a tank top or some shirt that shows off his arms on the hot summer day he decides to build it. Maybe even shirtless.

I feel like David wouldn't get you any specific stuffed animals. He would just wait for you to mention the ones you want, literally run across town to get it for you, then run back & it appears in your flock of stuffed animals the next day.

[russellsppttemplates]

You're the best papa (Pierre Gasly)

A look into Pierre and Y/N at the beggining of their journey into parenthood for the fourth time

Note: english is not my first language. You know what's better than a small blurb? Blurb like moments compiled in one place, at least I think it is!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions pregnancy, post partum

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Here's your coffee", Pierre croaked out, setting the mug on your bedside table after he kissed your forehead, "I have our little miss here, changed and ready for some food when you're ready", he added, sitting next to you on the bed as your baby girl rested on his chest.

Celeste was eight days old, but because of the initial check ups and the fact that you delivered on a Thursday, the hospital kept you for the first few days, so it was only the second day you and Pierre had been home with your new baby. Pascale and Jean had taken the other three kids with them on a small getaway for a few days so you and Pierre could settle in a new routine, FaceTiming you every night still.

"Mama has had a sip of the good stuff", you said, finding a good position on the bed before you stretched your arms out, "so now you can have some good stuff too, baby girl, come to mama", you cooed, laying her on the pillow so you wouldn't need to support her solely with your core strength and helping her latch, "there you go, my love", you brushed her soft hair.

Pierre got to go to the bathroom and then dowstairs, coming up when Celeste was done with feeding, "I can burp her", Pierre smiled, grabbing a muslin cloth just in case she spit some up, "I have the pad ready for you in the bathroom, and we can head downstairs afterwards because I'm getting breakfast ready, too", he smiled, kissing your forehead before he grabbed Celeste, cuddling her to his chest as you slowly walked to the bathroom. Even though the c-section had been successful and there were no complications, it was still abdominal surgery to some extent, so moving around was something you had to be mindful about, and having a pad to catch anything that might have been in there made you feel safer and more comfortable.

Heading downstairs, again in a slow waddle, you say Pierre cooking what looked like scrambled eggs, your baby girl safe tucked in his chest and held by a sling, "you know, I'm quite jealous of her because she gets to be carried around in your chest all day", you said as you approached Pierre, kissing his back before peeking to see your daughter's delightful sleeping expression.

"I'll hold you when she goes to nap on her bassinet, deal?", he teased you back, carrying the plates back to the table so you could eat.

.

Having your husband at home while you were recovering was something you saw as an incredible privilege not everyone had, allowing to actually sleep when the baby slept. You woke up with Pierre cuddling you in bed, starting to trace shapes on his hands, "are you up?", he asked, "I am", you whispered.

"I just changed her and fed her, and she's back asleep after I talked to her for a bit", he said, "how is your incision site feeling?", he asked, "it's good, moving around is still weird, I have this weird feeling that makes me think that all my organs are just going to drop out as I walk", you giggled, appreciating his attentiveness.

"If you need anything, let me know, yes?", he requested, holding your hand out so he could kiss your knuckles, one by one, "are you ready to have everyone back home?", he asked.

"I think so, yes. I miss them a lot, and since your parents are kindly staying with us for a few days, I think it's a good way to finally get the whole 'four kids' thing under our belt", you admitted, "if there is anything, we will make it work, like we always do".

.

Overall, the kids had been pretty good, always carefully when they got near you, no matter how much they wanted to hug and climb on your lap, but always doting on their little sister, especially Élodie, who now felt like she had a live doll to play with, always helping you when it was time for a bath and peppering the smallest kisses in her sister's hands, while the boys, although sometimes cheeky, always wanted to help around and make sure mama and Celeste were doing good.

"Is everyone ready?", you heard your husband's voice from downstairs, making you walk to meet him, "Wow, guys! Doesn't mama look beautiful in her dress?", he said, making all the kids run to you, hugging your legs and torso carefully, "you look beautiful, mama! Do a spin!", Louis said, prompting you to turn into a blushing mess as you spun.

"You look gorgeous, amour", Pierre said as he kissed you, "it's still a maternity dress because this whole area is still trying to work itself out, and it's easy to reach for a boob if she's hungry, it's really nothing spec-", you were interrupted by him, "you look like the hottest mama, and I'm not even sorry for staring at you", he winked.

.

"Oh, I think she just scratched my arm", Alexandre said, "it didn't hurt or anything, but I think it was her nails", he pointed out, catching Pierre's attention, "Oh, yes, you're right. Can you go to her room and grab me the file, please?", he asked.

In a hurry, all three children said "I'll go!", promptly wanting to help as much as they could. "Careful guys, no need to rush!", you yelled, not wanting any of your kids to hurt themselves.

"They're just trying to be helpful, bless them", you commented, sitting Celeste on your lap so she would be ready when Pierre needed to file her nails.

"I have it here, mama!", Élodie said, giving you the small pouch containing the electrical nail trimmer, sitting next to you on the sofa so she could see what you were doing.

"I'll hold her, you can do it", you nudged Pierre, seeing him grab the small machine and testing it on his own.

"Are you going to let papa trim your nails? You even have some scratches on your cheeks too, little one", he told his youngest daughter, gently grabbing her hand and shortening the length of her nails before using a softer file to leave the nail edges as soft as possible, "Good girl", he complimented, not ignoring the way the words made you shiver before he grabbed her other hand, doing the same until she had nails that wouldn't hurt herself or anyone else.

Getting up to bring the pouch back to the room and grab a new muslin cloth from the drawer, Pierre bent down just enough to whisper in your ear, "you're also a good girl, the best girl, in fact", leaving you a blushing mess as you cuddled your baby.

.

"Oh, look at at that scrunch, princess!", you heard Pierre from the nursery, "let me grab my phone so I can send this to Uncle Charles!", he squealed.

Resting against the door, you appreciated the scene: Celeste was dressed in a cute onesie and she was scrunching in the most delicious way possible, with Pierre recording and smiling at her, "Oh, come here", he stopped recording when he noticed her fussing, grabbing her and holding her, "it's alright, babygirl, you're good, you're good", he tutted, smiling when he inhaled her newborn scent.

"It never gets old, does it?", you asked, grabbing his attention, "no, still as amazing as the first time", he replied, walking over to you since he was just about to leave the room anyway, "and you, still amazing as ever, too. Remember that silly day you told me you were afraid of not being a good father?", you asked and he nodded, blushing as he kissed your lips, "like I said, silly silly idea that one was. You're the best papa they could have".